Keeping It All Together
by Judicorn
Summary: Jude hasn't been the same since the game of spin the bottle, and Connor has been hiding something himself. When a simple conversation turns into something more complex, what will happen? And when jealously starts to conquer a certain someone, can the boys manage to handle it all, or will it be another thing in Jude's life he can't keep together? Jonnor!
1. Don't Let Me Go

**This story takes place after the episode "Play."**

**AKA the spin the bottle episode where dreams go to die.**

**I do not own the Fosters. **

**Rated T for later chapters and slightly strong language.**

**Jude's POV:**

Tonight's dream is like the one from all the other nights this past week. In my dream I'm aware that it's just that, a dream... But that doesn't stop my self conscious mind from repeating the same old mistakes over and over again. It doesn't stop my dream self from trying to fulfill it's hidden desires.

Like the past few nights, I'm sitting down in my mom's bedroom, Connor and I face to face. He looks at me so adorably that it can't be legal. God, his lips... They look so soft and pink... I just want to give them tender kisses.

My dream always ends the same way. We're inches away from a kiss that I've been aching for for so long, and then I'm jolted awake. By what you may ask? Callie breaking the door down, telling us that Conner's dad is here looking for him.

Once again I wake up disappointed, sigh, and force myself back to sleep.

The next morning I manage to wake up at an incredibly early time to beat the rest of my family to the only available bathroom. In a record breaking fifteen minutes I manage to shower, brush my teeth, change my clothes, and put on my shoes.

Now I'm rushing down the stairs for breakfast before Jesus wakes up. I sit down at the first chair I see and start picking at the pancakes Lena made. I haven't even eaten a full bite.

I've been like this ever since that stupid game of spin the bottle. Sadly, I haven't exactly been my regular self.

"Good morning Judicorn!" Mariana chirps loudly while sitting across from me.

Almost instantly she notices that I'm not myself. Her smile drops and I feel a pang of guilt. Before I can slap on a fake smile, Mariana's pulling me away from the others into the privacy of the stair case. She quickly covers though, telling the others some lame excuse about me needing help to print out an essay that doesn't even exist.

Her dark eyes look down at me with concern, and then she speaks softly.

"Jude, what's wrong?" she questions. "Is it about Connor again?"

I sigh quietly before replying to my new sister.

"Yeah," I begin awkwardly. " I've been having the dream again, and ever since our almost kiss, I haven't been able to think straight. Literally. He's all I can think about and his smile just makes me want to pull him into a kiss and never let him go."

"Aww my little Judicorn," says Mariana as she bats her eyelashes. "Maybe it's time you finally tell Connor how you're feeling? You can't contain these feelings forever, it's not healthy for you."

"I know," I answer quietly, realizing that she's right. Mariana's always right when it comes to these kinds of things. Callie would of been no help in this situation.

Out of everyone in the house, Mariana is the only who knows about my true sexuality, and I plan to keep it that way. I'm afraid to tell Callie because I know she won't understand, if I tell Jesus and Brandon they'll treat me differently, and maybe Jesus wouldn't be comfortable sharing a room with my anymore. I love Stef and Lena, but I'm not ready to come out to them. Not yet, anyway.

Mariana and I continue our talk until Lena takes me and all my new brothers and sisters to school. Connor and I have a daily routine of him meeting me in front of my locker before school. It's just another small thing that makes me like him so much.

Connor has the option of hanging out with his "cool" soccer friends, but instead, he choses to spend his time with me. My heart can't help but do a little victory dance.

"Hey," Connor utters to me in his normally attractive tone. He pushes my locker door aside so he can be closer to me, and in all honesty, I can't help but blush slightly. My hands are now shaky and sweaty, which makes it harder to close up my locker and collect the books I need.

"Hi," I reply shyly, slightly giggling.

Before I can invite him over this weekend to "hang out" (and by hang out I mean tell him how I really feel) Maddie and Chelsea join our conversation. So much for inviting him over.

Chelsea instantly starts a conversation with Connor, acting like the giddy little middle schooler she's been since our game of spin the bottle almost a week ago. Since that day her and Connor have been in a "relationship," but Chelsea seems to be way more into it than he is. Secretly, it still hurts me to see them together.

As Chealsea continues to talk about her new shoes, I leave the conversation without one of the three noticing that I'm gone. Today was one of the many days Lena had brought us to school early, so I still have about ten minutes to myself. I sit on a bench in a more isolated part of Anchor Beach, alone with nothing but my thoughts and my book bag.

Thinking I'm by myself, I lean back, let out a frustrated growl, and hear the sound of my heart nearly shattering. Why do I have to be so jealous? It's not like a cute, amazing, straight guy like Connor would ever go for some freak like me.

Why can't I just be a normal teenager and like girls like I'm suppose to? Before I can start talking down on myself even more, I feel someone sit beside me. To my surprise, that person just so happens to be Connor.

Usually I'd be excited, but today my heart isn't in it.

"Why did you leave?" he asks, a hint of anger in his voice. He's usually never angry with me.

"It's not like anyone noticed," I reply with no emotion. "Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend anyway?"

"I noticed."

I look up at those gorgeous hazel eyes, but no words come out. Why did he ignore the second part of my sentence?

Connor throws his head back in frustration. Why is he so upset all of a sudden!?

"Jude, why are you being like this? You've been distant ever since we played spin the bottle!"

"Maybe I just feel uncomfortable around you now, okay?" I spit.

"Why?" he questions simply but with force, shaking his head in disbelief.

I take in one shaky deep breath before answering the question that will finally lift a huge weight off of my shoulders.

"Because your dad doesn't like me and he doesn't want us hanging out anymore." Connor opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off immediately. "Because I really am gay."

I can feel my body becoming tense and my nails start digging into the palms of my hands.

"Oh," he says.

"Oh? That's it? That's all you have to say? You know what? Maybe having this conversation was a mistake."

I rise up quickly, tears starting to form, ready to retreat anywhere that Connor wasn't. Before I can storm off, Connor's hand reaches out for mine and he pulls me closer to him. My heart is racing once more, but this time I can't properly enjoy it.

"Let me go," I mutter angrily between grit teeth.

"No, I'm not just going to letting you go."

"Why not?" I sputter back, nearly screaming it.

"Because maybe I like boys too."

His words take me back. Connor and I have been friends for a long time, and I always assumed that he was straight. Never, in a million years, would I of thought he was gay.

At this point I'm ready to be brave. I'm ready to reveal my feelings for him.

I open my mouth to speak, ready to spill my guts to the taller boy, but this time it's Connor's words that seize mine.

"And maybe you're the boy that I like."

At this point I can feel myself dying. I just want to jump into him arms, hold him tight, and scream to the world that I like him too.

Instead, my lips are delayed by his. Connor pulls me closer to him, his hands moving down towards my waist and my arms wrapping around his neck. Kissing Connor in real life feels so much better than it did in my imagination.

His tongue slowly moves into my mouth, and it catches me completely by surprise, but I don't object. We sit there, wrapped around each other, sharing the sweetest kiss imaginable. And just for a second, it feels like I finally have something together in my life.

**End of the first chapter! **

**If I get at least a few reviews I promise to update by tomorrow night! What do you guys think so far? Was it any good? If you didn't enjoy it, I apologize, but I really did try my best. **

**I myself have been looking for a story much like this one (and by this one I mean one that takes place after the spin the bottle game) but when I couldn't find one, I made my own! Please drop a review, it would mean a lot!**

**~ The OG Judicorn**


	2. One Step Closer

**Jude's POV:**

Only a few days have passed since Connor and I kissed, and well, here's what happened afterward:

_~Flashback~_

Connor slowly pulled away from me, almost as if he wanted to stay that way forever, or at least that's how I saw it. I could feel my face turning a bright shade of pink as I felt the taller boy's eyes looking down at me. I became even more pink when I realized his arms were still around my small waist.

"Jude?" he calls out, our faces still inches apart.

I look up at him, trying to form the cutest expression on my face.

"Yeah?" I squeak out in a childish manner.

"You're so cute, and I really like you, so I was wondering if you wanted to be with me?"

I was screaming in my head _ yes, yes, yes! _but then something occurred to me, something important.

"Wait, what about Chelsea?" I ask, slowly starting to lose my smile. I push myself away from Connor, suddenly angry that he would kiss me when he has a _girlfriend. _Guys with girlfriends don't kiss gay kids like me...

Connor notices my mood almost immediately and tries to bring me into him once more, but I refuse, pushing him away. I can feel tears starting to stream down my face. How could I have been so stupid? His soccer friends must have put him up to this. This is all probably some stupid sick joke. No guy who has every girl chasing after him would ever like a guy like me.

Mariana was wrong, I should have never pursued Connor. All it lead to was breaking my heart in the blink of an eye. I gave him my first real kiss, didn't that mean anything to him? Probably not, he's had a million first kisses with more girls than I could count...

"I don't want her. Like I said, I don't like girls. I like boys."

"Oh really?" I cry out. "Then why are you with Chelsea? Why are you with a girl that you can't possibly ever have feelings for? How do I know you're not playing me for some fool? How stupid do you think I am!"

I don't know why, but I keep shouting horrible things like that. Connor just hurt my feelings so bad that I couldn't control myself anymore. I had to let it all out.

Connor puts a finger over my mouth and I look up at him in pure shock. He looks hurt, really hurt, and I finally come to my senses. I was way too harsh on the boy with the smoldering hazel eyes...

"Jude, please, just let me explain," he begins. "I'm with Chelsea because I was hoping that maybe it would convince my dad to keep letting me see you."

"And why is that?" I ask, suddenly full of curiosity.

"Because ever since I was ten, he knew that I was gay. He's been trying to keep me straight for the longest time."

"Keep you straight?" I question him.

"Yup. When he first suspected I was gay, he put me in soccer, because he had this stupid stereotype idea that every boy who does sports has to be straight. Then he started to introduce me to a bunch of girls, teaching me that that's what I'm suppose to like. He's been trying to change me for years, and at first I thought it was working, but then I met you."

"I'm so sorry..." I trail off, not knowing what else to say.

"No, I'm sorry. The reason why my dad didn't want me to see you is partly because you were gay, but also because he knew I was gay and that I liked you. He kept telling me that all you would do was corrupt me and ruin everything he had been trying to change for over three whole years. I don't care what he says, I really like you."

After he completes his sentence he grabs my hand and squeezes it tightly. Tears start to flow down his face and guilt strikes me. This is the first time I've ever seen him so vulnerable. I had been so horrible to him... And he's been struggling for years, and all I've done is break him down.

He then grabs my other hand and pulls me towards him once more, but this time I don't resist. This time I'm not quick to judge him.

"I would never play you for a fool, Jude. I always knew I liked boys, but you're the first who has ever reminded me of that. You're the first and only boy I've ever had real feelings for. I don't think you're stupid, in fact, you're one of the nicest, smartest, most real person I've ever met. How could I not have fallen in love with someone like that?"

I step up on my tip toes and plant a sweet kiss on Connor's lips. My eyes shut as I drag him deeper into the kiss, a kiss that started of as sweet and tender, but then evolved into something full of passion and desire.

Connor pulls away and we both gasp for air. Once we're both back on planet earth, he looks down at me once more with those gorgeous hazel eyes.

"I want you Jude. I've wanted you ever since I saw you with that blue nail polish on. Please, be my boyfriend?"

Before I can reply to Connor, the bell for first period rings, and a rush of students flood into the school.

I look around quickly to make sure we're still alone, and kiss Connor once more, but only for about three seconds or so.

"Does that answer your question?"

Connor wraps his arms around my waist once more and gives me a quick peck on the lips before moving down to my neck. He pulls away only to lean down and kiss me again, using his tongue, but I pull away and try to look at least remotely attractive. Connor gives me a hungry look, but I slowly bring myself away from him, waving good bye.

I smirk at him as we go our separate ways, my heart doing a gymnastics routine, and my face flushing a bright shade of pink. I haven't been this happy since my adoption day!

_~End Of Flashback~_

Every time I remember that day I can't help but become giddy. Right now Stef is at the station, Lena had to stay over time for a board meeting, Brandon is with his dad, and Callie is currently out on a date with Wyatt. That just leaves Jesus, Mariana, and me present at the house.

I've decided to come out, but slowly, one family member at a time. I feel like I should tell Jesus first, since we share a room, and I don't want to keep a secret this big from my new older brother and roommate.

Jesus is down stairs, eating a bag of chips in the living room and watching some stupid show on MTV. I sit down on the other side of the couch, and he shots me a smile.

"Hey little bro," he says while shoving another hand full of chips into his mouth.

"Hey Jesus," I whimper out, clearly nervous.

Jesus pauses the tv and puts down his bag of chips. In a matter of seconds he focuses all of his attention on me.

"What's wrong Jude?" he asks me with concern highlighting his words.

"I've been keeping a big secret from you," I choke out.

"What is it? You know you can tell me anything, we're family now."

It takes me a few seconds, but the words finally manage to come out.

"I-I... I'm gay. And my friend Connor? We've been seeing each other for a few days now. I understand if you feel uncomfortable around me and don't want to share a room with me anymore."

"Are you serious?" Jesus replies. "I don't care if you're gay, straight, bi, or whatever else there is. You're my brother now and nothing could ever make me stop loving you, especially something you can't control, like your sexuality. I love you for who you are Jude, and I still want to share our room."

I smile gratefully at him. I feel like I can finally be myself around him.

"So, who else knows?"

"Just you and Mariana for now. Please don't tell anyone, okay? I'm trying to take all of this one step at a time."

"No problem little dude, whatever you're most comfortable with is what we'll do."

I smile once more as I exit the living room and head towards my shared room with Jesus. I'm really happy Jesus was so understanding! I just hope Callie and the others are like him and Mariana. I know Stef and Lena will be okay with me, Brandon is a wild card, and Callie... We'll see how that goes...

Stef and Lena installed a landline not to long ago, so I dial my boyfriend's number, ready to tell him I'm one step closer. My boyfriend. I like the sound of that.

**End of chapter two! I know I said I would post this tomorrow night, but I couldn't help myself! Sorry if this chapter was so fluffy! I loved it though (: Thanks to all the awesome people who reviewed, it really encouraged me to post this today. All the positive reviews gave me so much confidence and put a smile on my face! Please leave a review and I promise to update as soon as possible! I promise if I don't update tomorrow than I will on Friday for sure.**

**On a side note, thanks to the guest user and Rosealynndah for giving me the idea to tell Jesus first. If you want something in the story, say it in a review, and if I use it in my story I will give you credit!**

**Another side note, so sorry! But I'm having trouble coming up with names for the first few chapters... Any tips? I don't know why but I can never find anything suitable! Thanks everyone!**

**~The OG Judicorn **


	3. Keeping It All Together

**Jude's POV:**

Right now I am currently in the only available bathroom in the home, fixing my hair, and making sure my clothes didn't look totally ridiculous. God, why can't my hair ever look at least slightly normal? And why don't my clothes ever look right on me?

I let out a loud sigh and engulf myself in self pity. I'm usually never this hard on myself, but today isn't just any other day. Connor's coming over for dinner and Jesus agreed to let us use the room for the whole night, or at least until Connor has to go home. I want to make sure I look my best when my boyfriend comes over.

As I continue to mess around with my hair, I hear Stef from down stairs yell, "Jude, come down stairs! Connor's at the front door!"

My heart starts to do a little dance, I check myself out once more in the mirror before giving myself the thumbs up, and then I storm out in a hurry. Without thinking I burst out the door so fast that it smacks into Mariana.

"I'm so sorry, Mariana!" I cry out, guilt filling my lungs.

Mariana looks at me, raising one eye brow, and then she begins to nudge at me.

"Is Connor here?" Mariana asks, giving me another flirty look.

"Yes," I reply, blushing at the sound of his name.

"Go get 'em Judicorn," she says with a wink. "And by the way, you look very handsome."

I shot her a quick smile before rushing down the stairs to greet Connor. I'm halfway down the stairs when I realize how embarrassing that was. She called me Judicorn, winked at me, told me to "go get 'em", and called me handsome, all in one incredibly awkward sentence. How did I not die back there? Knowing Mariana, she'll never let it go, but hopefully she won't bring it up tonight.

Stef is stands outside the little closet near the main door in the hallway, so I try to be careful with Connor. As I open the door, my eyes meet his gorgeous hazel eyes. I invite him in and, suddenly, he pecks me on the lips.

Just for a quick second or two, I'm really into the kiss. When I finally came back to reality I pulled back so fast that I nearly fell back. At first he looks at me confused and kind of hurt, but then I dart my eyes back, informing him that we weren't alone just yet. He nods his head in realization and we make our way to the kitchen.

"Hello Connor!" Lena chirps while preparing pasta. "Dinner should be ready in about fifteen minutes."

Connor and I give each other devilish smiles as we make our way upstairs.

Stef seems to notice this, and gives Lena a look. I blush as I ascend the stair case, trying my hardest not to look back at them. I'll just cross my fingers and pray that Stef didn't see anything happen.

**Lena's POV:**

As Connor and Jude make their way up the stairs, Stef and I look at each other, each of us raising an eye brow. When we here the bedroom door slam, we run to each other, and I can't help but feel giddy!

"So," Stef begins. "How long do you think those two have been together?"

"I'd say a few days, things with them have become more and more friendly lately."

"When do you think Jude's going to tell us?"

"I'm not sure when, but I hope soon. I'm not going to nudge at Jude though, because when my mother did that to me it made me feel uncomfortable in my own home. I never want Jude to feel that way. I want him to know this is a safe and open environment."

"I agree, I just wish he would open up already and tell us what really is going on between him and Connor," Stef says while still eyeing the stairs, as if Connor and Jude would come down any second and confess their love for each other. "You know, I think I saw a little welcome kiss today."

At the sound of Stef's words I let out a small chirp before asking her for all the details.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure, but I could of sworn I saw Connor kiss Jude as he entered own home. By the time I whipped my head in their direction, they had stopped and started heading towards the kitchen.

"Either way, it's the cutest thing I've ever seen," I say while heading back towards the pasta.

Stef agrees once again, and I can't help but smile at all the secret kisses and hand holding they must share. I'm also happy that a boy as amazing as Jude has finally found someone he can be truly happy with. The fact that Connor is incredibly cute is a plus.

**Jude's POV: **

I slam the door shut, lock it, and flop down on my bed, completely annoyed. Connor sits down next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder. I nuzzle my head into him, and I'm surprised to find that we're a perfect fit for one another. Perfect.

"What's wrong?" Connor asks while connecting our fingers.

"Nothing," I answer coldly while looking down at my feet.

Connor, obviously not buying any of my lies, lifts my chin up with his free hand. I am once again met with those gorgeous hazel eyes that I can't get enough of. The way they pierce into me makes me vulnerable to him, and more importantly, makes me want him even more.

"Jude, you know you can tell me anything. Don't play any games with me, okay? Now tell me what's bothering you."

"I think Stef and Lena know about us," I respond with almost no emotion.

"And why is that such a bad thing? They love you Jude, I can see it. And they're gay too, so they will except you for who you are. And on the almost zero percent that they don't, you'll always have me."

"I know, but I just want to keep it all together, you know? I'm afraid if I spring this too fast on people then they won't understand or think that I'm just confused or going through a stupid phase. But the thing is, I'm not confused. I've liked boys for as long as I could remember."

"You can keep it all together," Connor says while squeezing my hand. "And I'll be here to help you put all the pieces together."

Connor ends his sentence and places a quick kiss on my forehead, which automatically wins me over. I kiss him on the cheek, and then he gives me a peck on the lips, and it just escalates from that point on.

In a matter of minutes I'm pinned against my bed, Connor on top, gently kissing me, but getting more and more aggressive as time passes by. His hands grab onto my hips while my hands ruffle into his hair. He slowly begins to unbutton my shirt, pulls me closer to him, and sticks his tongue nearly all the way down my throat. Everything feels perfect, and like I have total control. Right before Connor and I can turn up the heat all the way up, we hear Lena yell, "Kids. Dinner is ready! Come and eat!"

The taller boy climbs off of me and I let out a disappointed sigh.

"Jude? Did I do something wrong?" Connor asks while meeting my gaze. "Did I use too much tongue?"

Even though his questions came out completely serious, I couldn't help but smile.

"No, it was great. I just wish we hadn't been interrupted by dinner."

A devious grin slides across Connor's face as he leans into me.

"Don't worry about it," he whispers to me. "After dinner, we'll have plenty of time to have more fun."

"You're crazy, completely insa-" but my sentence is cut short but Connor's lips.

His lips meet mine and his tongue immediately lunges into my mouth. Connor moves his hands to their place on my lower back, giving me goosebumps. My hands are plastered against the back of his head as I push him into me, not holding anything back. I wish I could of known where things would have gone, but sadly, Lena calls us once again, and this time we manage to make it downstairs without kissing or holding hands, but I still remember to let out a loud sigh. We act completely normal at dinner, kind of. I couldn't help but hold his hand under the table or wrap my leg around his.

**Lena's POV:**

Dinner time is definitely the busiest time of the day. It's one of the few times we have the whole family together, Brandon, Mariana, Jesus, Callie, Jude, and Connor ever since he and Jude became close "friends."

The chemistry between the two is undeniable. I always catch them exchanging secret stares, "accidentally" placing their hands on one another, and they're even playing the old hold hands under the table game.

Stef and I continue to smile at each other, and as of this point I am positive that Jude and Connor have more than just a platonic relationship. In all honesty, it's probably the cutest thing I've ever seen. The way the two thirteen year olds act around each other is absolutely adorable.

The course of the evening is smooth; Jesus talks about wrestling, Mariana about her dance team practices, Brandon about his newly formed band, and Callie talks about how great Wyatt is. I love all my children equally, but tonight all my focus is on Jude and his friend Connor.

Once dinner is finished everyone heads to their rooms, except Jesus, who camps out in the living room playing video games and eating a bag of chips like he always does.

I spend the rest of the night washing dishes. I'm nearly done until I hear someone honk, and then I remember Connor's brother said he would always honk when he arrived for Connor.

As usual I scurry off to the stair case, yell, "Conner's brother is here!" and retreat back to the kitchen when I hear foot steps coming down the stairs.

I walk across the hallway to the small closet we have that contains all sorts of cleaning products, but out of the corner of my eye, I catch a sight that makes my heart cheer. Connor stands outside the door while Jude steps up on his tip toes to kiss him good bye. Before either boy can catch me, I grab what I need and rush back into the kitchen, a smile spread wide across my face. I decide to ask Jude about it tomorrow, but gossip about it to Stef tonight.

**End of chapter 3, and I have to say, this one is probably my favorite so far (: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, every single one was positive! That gives me more confidence and makes me want to update sooner, which is why this chapter is coming out so early!**

**I've already begun writing the fourth chapter, and some of it is in Connor's POV so I hope you guys enjoy that! I will try to put it up by today or at latest tomorrow! Also, if you guys having any suggestions, comments, ideas, etc. leave them in the comments and I'll try to use them to improve the story and give you guys what you want! Or are you guys just curious to find out what "~The OG Judicorn" means? Good bye for now!**

**~The OG Judicorn **


	4. I Don't Like Girls

**Connor's POV:**

My older brother, Caleb, picks me up outside Jude's house. I open the door to the passenger seat and hop in, still remembering how soft and sweet Jude's lips felt against mine.

"So, did you have fun?" Caleb questions while making a right turn.

"Definitely," I say, still hypnotized by the idea of my boyfriend.

"I told dad I was picking you up from Kyle's, so just play along, okay?"

"Sure," I respond carelessly.

My brother's pretty cool. Every time I sneak out to see Jude, he covers for me. Usually he'll drive me to his house and feed my parents lies about me being at another friend's house or after school tutoring.

Caleb pulls into the driveway and I rush into my house, up the stairs, and to my nice soft bed. Thankfully my parents are asleep, so I can have plenty of time to make up what I did today.

Jude. That adorable boy drives me crazy. Right now, he's all I can think about.

Today was the farthest I've ever gone, and I'm so happy I got to experience all of that with Jude. All of those feelings bring me back to the day he wore the blue nail polish. AKA, the day I fell hard for the shy adorable boy who wasn't afraid to be himself and could never say bad things about anyone, even when they deserved it. The boy I gave my PSP to because he was that sweet. The boy I chose as my science partner because he looked like a cute little lost puppy. The first person I've ever kissed and actually felt something special. I love the way he blushes when he wants me to kiss him, or the way his hands always find their way to the back of my head, and especially the way he bites and tugs on my lip when he decides to be bold and daring.

I sigh as I lay down on my bed, suddenly flooded by a hundred and one thoughts and ninety-nine problems.

I'm still with Chelsea. Jude knows this, and I haven't really talked to her this past week, in fact, I've been avoiding her. For the past few days I've been trying how to figure out how to break things off with her. She's a really nice and sweet girl, but like I've said a million times, I don't like girls.

Why does this have to be so hard? I've broken up with plenty of girls before. Maybe it's because this time I'm dumping a girl for a boy...

**Jude's POV:**

~The Next Day At School~

Connor and I go through our normal daily routines, and by the time lunch rolls around, I couldn't be happier to see my boyfriend waiting for me at our usual table in the back. He quickly motions me to come over and I reluctantly comply. Conor has a turkey sub, like he normally does, and today I'm eating a PB&J.

"I think I'm going to break up with Chelsea today after school," says Connor while turning around to face me.

Sadly, I was drinking my milk when he told me this, and most of it ended up on the unsuspecting lunch table.

I clean it all up with my napkin before choking out a simple, "Really?"

"Really," Connor responds. "I barley talked to her ever since we got together, and we never even see each other, and I don't like her like I like you. It's not fair to drag her along like that. Plus, you're way cuter anyway."

My cheeks turn a light shade of red and my hands start to become sweaty, like they always do when I'm around my boyfriend. I wish I could just give him a peck on the cheek, hold his hand, or do anything romantic with him. But the sad thing is, I can't. Not yet, anyway.

We eat in peace for the rest of luch, both of us completely quiet, doing nothing but enjoying each other's presence. Occasionally Connor wil "accidently" brush his hand against mine or wrap his leg around mine from under the table.

I couldn't help but be happy for the rest of the day.

**Connor's POV:**

As school ends, I tell Jude to wait for me in front of the school and that I'll meet him there in ten minutes. Making sure no one is looking, he gives me a sweet kiss on the lips before walking away. I can feel myself blushing, trying to be happy for just a few seconds, before I meet up with Chelsea to tell her the news.

She's with Maddie, both of them laughing and smiling brightly, which makes me feel slightly bad for what I'm about to do. I make my way over to them and Chelsea begins to beam even brighter than before, if that was even humanly possible.

"Hey Connor!" she squeals out, taking a step closer to me.

Maddie nudges me before saying, "It's good to see you guys together again. It's like you never want to see your own girlfriend anymore."

I take a loud gulp. By the expression on their faces they don't seem to notice how horribly uncomfortable I am.

"Chelsea, we need to talk," I finally manage under my breath.

Those words wipe the smile off her face in a matter of seconds. She knows this is going to be (the) talk.

She puts on the saddest face she can pull off and whimpers out, "About what?"

I motion her to a nearby bench, Maddie following her like a lost puppy. The three of us sit down while I take a deep breath.

"I think we should break up," I choke out.

"Wh-Wh... Why? Why do you want to break up with me?"

Tears begin streaming down her face. Maddie seems to be in complete shock, her jaw dropped all the way down to the ground. The fact that she shots me a death glare doesn't make the situation any easier.

"Look, you're a great girl, and super nice, but we hardly spend any time together. I just feel like I'm not the right type of guy for you..." I trail off.

She shakes her head in disbelief, as if that would make me want her back.

"No, that's not true!" she cries out. "That's not true at all! You're the perfect guy for me! You're tall, athletic, popular, cute, what's there not to love?"

Chelsea inches herself closer and closer to me, trying to grasp my hands, but I break away from her.

"Trust me Chelsea, I'm not the right type of guy for you," I repeat once more.

A look of rage soon begins to manifest on Chelsea's light skin.

"Yes you are," she repeats in a more sinister tone. "Unless there's someone else. Have you been cheating on me for some ratchet? Is that why you've been avoiding me for almost a week?"

"Yes," I respond quietly.

The red headed girl lets out a small scream. Maddie tries to comfort her, continuing to give me the evil eye, but Chelsea does nothing but push her away. More and more tears begin to flood down her face. We sit there in silence for almost a whole minute, Maddie sitting back, finally giving up on trying to make Chelsea feel any better.

"Who is she?" Chelsea says after several moments of silence.

"It's not a she," I reply. "It's a guy."

Both the girls on the bench beside me look like they're in a state of shock. Maddie's mouth is once again dropped to the ground, while Chelsea's look of rage turns into confusion and disbelief.

"Who's the guy?" Maddie crooks out.

I take about a minute to reply. That whole time I think about Jude, my amazing boyfriend. He would want me to tell them, wouldn't he? We did make a promise that once I broke up with Chelsea, we would hold hands and kiss and do everything and anything we wanted at school. If it was going to happen eventually, I at least want her to hear it from me instead of some stupid kids who can't mind their own business gossiping about me.

"His name is Jude, and if you haven't noticed, he's amazing."

Maddie is taken back. She likes Jude, I know it for a fact. She asked him to the movies and seemed so giddy during spin the bottle. Every time I stood outside his locker while speaking with Chelsea, all Maddie could do was check him out head to toe.

Chelsea, on the other hand, looks dumbfounded. Completely shocked. She tries to speak a few times, but the words won't come out. They can't come out.

"Then why did you agree to date Chelsea?" says Maddie, still looking upset.

"Because I was confused," I begin. "I knew I liked boys when I was ten, but I always tried to hide it because my dad made me. I don't want to hide from myself anymore. I'm so sorry Chelsea, but I really like Jude, and I can't picture myself being with anybody else but him."

She doesn't respond, but gives me a head nod. I tell the girls good bye before leaving to meet my boyfriend. Yes, my boyfriend, Jude. My boyfriend that I can finally hold hands with and kiss and not be afraid about who sees us together.

I see him in front of the school, which is almost completely empty, but that was expected, considering the fact that I spent much longer than ten minutes talking to Chelsea and Maddie.

For some strange reason, he has a concerned look on his face.

"What took you so long?" he cries out to me, a single tear flowing down his right cheek.

I wipe it away with my thumb and look down at the shorter boy before me.

"I'm sorry I took so long Jude, Chelsea took it a lot harder than I expected she would."

"So you broke up with her?" he questions with a small glimmer of hope in his cute brown eyes.

"Does this answer your question?"

I lean down slightly and kiss him, no longer caring if anyone sees us or not. During the kiss I can't help but smile, because that was the exact line Jude used on me when he finally kissed me back.

"Now tell me, why do you look so upset? You already know I don't like playing games."

"I know, but when you took so long, I thought you and Chelsea worked something out. I thought you were going to realize how great and beautiful she is and ditch me for her. The thoughts kept eating away at me and I just kept thinking of the worst case scenario."

"Jude, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't like girls. I like boys. And I like you."

His face turns the same dark shade of pink it always becomes when I flirt with him like that. Without saying anything, he pulls me into a hug, squeezes me tight, and lays his head down against my chest. I'm happy that he's comfortable talking to me and that he's able to cry in front of me. I look down at him, and my heart skips a beat. He holds onto me with his brown eyes closed and squeezes me tighter as the seconds fly by.

Wow, he's so damn cute, and now I can finally have him all to myself.

**End of another chapter, and still many more to come! I would like to thank all the positive reviews I got (: I'm always writing this on my iPad, and my dream is to be a writer with my own book serious, but my dad says my writing is BS... You guys inspire me to prove them all wrong.**

** 55artix: I will be incorporating Connor's dad in a few chapters, thanks for the suggestion!**

**Roselynndah: Why thank you very much c:**

**And thanks to everyone, leave suggestions and I will try to fit it in somewhere! Leave a review please, it means a lot c: I will update as soon as I can! I'm thinking five reviews equals a new chapter? Ten if I'm lucky?**

**~The OG Judicorn **


	5. The Fight And Blue Nail Polish

**Jude's POV: **

Everything in my life was perfect. Absolutely perfect. I felt like I was finally keeping everything together, like I was in control of my own life. That is, until three hours ago.

_~Three Hours Earlier~ _

Connor came over after school, like we planned, and left a little bit sooner than expected because of soccer practice. It was fine with me, he loved soccer, and if that made him happy, than who was I to stop him?

As always I lead him to our front door before kissing him good bye. He kisses me back softly and I shut my eyes tightly. Connor walks out the door and I watch him get into his brother's car. I sigh quickly before going up to Stef in Lena, who were already preparing dinner in the kitchen.

Today was the day, the day I would tell Stef and Lena that I didn't like girls. A part of me felt like they already knew, but it was something that I needed to do not just for them, but for me too.

"Will Connor be back for dinner?" Lena ask while preparing the dinner table.

"No," I reply calmly. "He said soccer practice is going to be longer than expected today so he can't come over."

"That's fine," says Stef. "He's always welcomed anytime."

I smile at Stef's words. It was nice to know that they at least liked Connor. That gave me a little bit more comfort and confidence about the whole situation.

"Stef, Lena, can we talk?" I ask quietly.

They both stop what they're doing and sit down at the dinner table, leaving a seat for me in between them. I sit down between my two moms, take a deep breath, and begin to speak.

"I-I... I'm gay. I don't like girls and I don't think I ever have. And Connor? He's not just my friend anymore... He's my boyfriend... I understand if you guys are mad at me and don't want me sharing a room with Jesus anymore. And I also understand if you don't want me to see Connor anymore. But most of all, I'm sorry for keeping this a secret for so long. I was waiting until the time was right."

I can feel hot tears beginning to well in my eyes. I take precaution immediately, biting the inside of my lip so I wouldn't cry in front of my moms. I couldn't let them see me this way.

Lena looks at me, slightly offended.

"Jude," she begins. "We don't care who you love, we love you, and nothing could ever change our minds. Jesus still loves you too, I know it, and you can stay in your room. This is your home too now Jude, I want you to feel safe here. And of course Connor can continue to come over! He's been here so often that he's already part of the family."

"Your mom's right," says Stef while putting her hand on my back. "We will always love you Jude and we want you in this family. You're a special kid."

A stray tears slides down my face. I spread my arms out and engulf my moms in a long hug, never wanting this moment to end.

"I love you guys," I manage to choke out. "Thanks for being okay with me being different."

Lena breaks away from the hug, grabs my hands, and looks down at me. Her face is serious, but full of compassion, much like a mother should look like.

"There's nothing wrong with being different," she says. "Whether it's you wearing blue nail polish or liking boys, we will always be okay with who you are. Being different is being unique and special and interesting. Don't let anyone ever make you feel ashamed of who you are."

"Thank you," I reply softly but gratefully.

"So..." Stef begins. "How long have you and Connor been together?"

I blush before replying,"Exactly a week today."

Stef and Lena give each other that same look, before each of them say underneath their breath, (I knew it.)

"You guys did know?" I ask, half surprised but half expecting this. "Why didn't you guys ever say anything to me?"

"Oh honey. Of course we wanted to, but we didn't want to push you like Stef's parents and my parents did. We wanted you to come to us when you were ready, not when you were forced into it."

I thank them one more time before pulling them into another long hug. They ask me more questions, and of course I answer, until it's time for me to head upstairs and actually do some school work.

I'm about halfway done with the hardest math assignment ever, until the landline in mine and Jesus' room rings. Since he's at wrestling practice, I answer the phone, slightly giddy because Connor said he would call me after soccer practice was over.

"Hello?" I say, trying to sound like the adorable boy Connor liked so much.

"Jude?" someone speaks into the phone.

I'm taken back, nearly dropping the phone. That voice wasn't Connor's voice. It was that of a man in his mid forties. Nothing like that of my young, sweet, attractive boyfriend.

"Yes?" I reply while taking in a deep gulp.

"This is Connor's father," the other voice says sharply. "I never want you seeing my son again. All you've done is corrupt him and distract him from soccer and girls. I thought I made it clear that I didn't want him coming over to your house anymore. He's lucky that I don't make him change schools. He has too many friends and a soccer career on the line. He doesn't need some foolish boy ruining it for him. Good bye Jude."

Connor's dad hangs up and I drop the phone to the ground. Hot tears are starting to leak down my face. I'm hysterical. Why didn't Connor fight for me? Does he not care about me? No, don't think like that Jude. There has to be more to the story, something Connor's day didn't want to tell me.

I lay down against my bed, heart shattered, letting out loud sobs. I guess my crying must have been pretty loud, because not long after Mariana enters my room and shuts the door behind her.

"Judicorn, what's going on?" she asks me kindly, wrapping her arm around me.

I love Mariana. She was the first one to find out I was gay and has been nothing but compassionate, understanding, and supportive. She never judged me for wearing the blue nail polish. I know all my secrets are safe with her.

"Connor's dad just called me on the landline and told me I'm not allowed to see him anymore. I don't know why Connor didn't defend me. Maybe he wasn't there when it happened? I don't know, but I do know there has to be more to the story. Something Connor's dad didn't want me to know."

Mariana gives me a tight hug, whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

"There's one bright side to all of this, Judicorn."

"And what's that?" I ask her.

"Well, at least you guys have the totally cute Romeo and Juliet thing going on. Anybody would kill for a romance story like that!"

I can't help but laugh. Mariana, the girl who can light up anybody's day. Even if she does have blonde hair now.

_~Present Time~_

Mariana left after a long and meaningful talk, and I'm incredibly grateful towards her, but I wish Connor would call me. It's been about three hours since his father called me and he hasn't even tried contacting me. No, there has to be more to the story. Something I don't know.

I ponder the possibilities for the longest time, thinking of every factor that could come into play. My train of thought is cut off when Lena calls everyone down, saying that dinner is ready.

I rise up from my bed, putting on the best fake smile that I can manage. I didn't want anyone else to know what had happened until I knew the whole story.

Everyone's here today. Moms, Brandon, Jesus, Mariana, Callie, and me of course. Callie is on my left while Mariana sits on my right. Tonight's dinner consist of steak, mash potatoes, and vegtables, which I just so happen to hate. Instead of eating my vegtables I grab an extra serving of mash potatoes to welt my hunger.

When Lena takes the rolls out of the oven, I scarf three down in no time.

"Challenging my dominance?" says Jesus while eating not three, but four rolls in record breaking time.

I laugh while taking two more rolls and eating them as fast I can. Jesus claps, Mariana cheers, and Brandon and moms just laugh.

"Woah, slow down little buddy," says Callie while looking down at me.

I love my sister, but she always has to critique what I do and sometimes it doesn't always come out right. I try to think nothing of it, though. I'm already upset as it is, I don't need to snap on someone just because I'm not thinking straight.

"Jude," Mariana says to me while showing me her freshly painted nails. They're a deep shade of blue that screams (I'm trying but you don't know it.) "I did them today after our little talk. Maybe I could do yours too?"

"Sure," I respond brightly, starting to feel a little better.

"Oh no, no, no," Callie replies. "We both know what happened the last time you decided to paint his nails. I'm not going to give the kids at school a reason to pick on my baby brother."

"But I like it," I whisper softly.

"What you like gets you beat up," she replies harshly.

"Stop telling me what to do."

Callie puts down her fork. The whole family, including Callie, look at me with shocked looks on their faces. I never fight back. Maybe it was time I finally stood up for myself.

"Excuse me?" Callie barks directly at me. "I've taken care of you your whole life. I've always been there for you when the kids at school gave you a hard time. And now you think you have the right to talk to me like that?"

Callie looks really hurt and upset, like she's holding back tears, but none come out.

"I'm just tired of everyone telling me what to do. People expecting me to be a certain way. Maybe I just want to be my own person now, okay? I don't care what people say."

"But I care. I don't want people hurting you just because you decided to be different."

"There's nothing wrong with being different," I snap at her.

"I know there's nothing wrong with being different, but not everyone thinks like that. People can be closed minded and not understand that people all aren't the same."

"You mean like you?" I snap.

I don't bother waiting for her to reply. I know it's going to be mean anyway. Instead, I push my chair out and run upstairs to my room, locking the door and throwing myself onto my bed.

Why couldn't Callie just except that I was different? There's nothing wrong with it. And why hasn't Connor tried to call me? I've been waiting to hear from him for hours, it's killing me. Can't I just keep everything together?

Oh geez, I'm such an idiot. A stupid idiot. I thought a boy like Connor could like me, wrong. I thought that maybe Callie could except me for who I am, wrong. I thought she could understand that I was different, wrong. I was foolish for ever thinking that I could keep everything together.

**End of another chapter! Aww poor Jude :( I love him but it had to happen, for the sake of drama! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and told me my writing was not total BS, it means a lot. Maybe one day my father will except that I want to be a writer. **

**55artix: There you go, thanks for inspiring me to put that into the story!**

**JonnorFTW: Thank you so much!**

**To wrap it all up, five to ten reviews equals one new chapter so remember to leave a review! Happy Fourth of July to all of those in the USA! **

**~The OG Judicorn **


	6. No More Secrets

**Connor's POV:**

After soccer practice, my father picks me up, and says almost nothing the whole ride home. It scares me, because I have no idea what he's thinking about. He doesn't even look at me once, as if he's purposely avoiding me.

I look at him from the corner of my eye from time to time, trying to read the expression on his face. Let's just say my efforts were fruitless. He was obviously pissed off and angry, but I couldn't figure out why.

"Dad?" I finally say as we pull into the driveway.

"Get in the house," he says in a serious and somewhat scary tone.

I do as I'm told and grab my soccer bag, making my way towards the front door. I take a deep breath as we make our way into the house. Surprisingly, my house is completely quiet. It's never this quiet.

Usually my mom would have at least two TV's running, the one in the kitchen for the news, and the one in the living room for entertainment. Both of them weren't running. At this time Caleb would be blasting his music at max volume, but I couldn't hear anything. Dead silence.

"What's going on?" I plead while sitting down in the living room, staring at the blank TV screen that's normally on at this hour.

"Do you think I'm stupid, Connor? Do you think I'm just some big stupid idiot?"

"I don't even know what you're talking about!" I cry out.

He turns away from me and my eyes wander around the house. Everything's in place, except my mom's not in sight. Usually she'd be preparing dinner right now in the kitchen, but she's no where to be found. Caleb's not here either. He's always here around this time.

"Where's mom and Caleb? Why aren't they here?" I question, my voice filling with concern over my two MIA family members.

"She couldn't bare to see you," my father replies harshly. "Your mother went to stay at a friend's house for a few days, because the thought of you repulsed her. And Caleb? I can't even speak of him right now. That son of mime is lucky that he's even allowed in this house again."

"Dad," I say, nearly crying. "Please tell me what I did wrong? What's going on?"

My father paces back and forth before me.

"I overheard Caleb today on the phone with you before he took you to soccer practice. I didn't confront him until he came home because I didn't want him to alert you about anything. When he arrived, I made him tell me everything. I threatened him to tell me what the hell was going on or else he could kiss his car good bye and pay for his own college tuition. I know you've been dating your friend Jude behind my back, and I'm incredibly disappointed in you, Connor."

"Dammit Caleb," I curse under my breath.

"God so help me, this is far beyond Caleb. This is all about you and being confused about who you are. It's a phase, Connor, a phase that isn't funny and that you need to get over."

"It's not a phase!" I cry out. "A phase doesn't last over three years!"

"You think this is all one big game, don't you?" my father begins. "I can't keep fixing your mistakes, Connor. You need to learn what's good for you, amd that boy is going to bring you nothing but trouble."

He goes on and on about how Jude isn't any good for, but I just sit there, trying to block his words out. I've never seen him so angry before, except for the time when he told me I wasn't allowed to sleep over at Jude's house anymore because he thought he was gay, but this is a million times worse.

"I've spent three years of my life trying to make you normal," he snaps out. "And this is how you repay me? By finding some painsy boy who makes you wear blue nail polish and cries in front of you? No real man would ever cry in front of someone else."

"It's not like he forced me to wear the blue nail polish," I mumble. "I wanted to do it to show him that I was there and that I wanted to be his friend. And you think this is hard for you? I've spent three years of my life hiding who I really was because of you. I wore the blue nail polish to _impress_ him because I _liked _him and wanted to be his friend to become closer."_  
><em>

"Friends? With that short little freak?"

"He's not a freak, dad. There's nothing wrong with being different."

My father rolls his eyes and utters something about how all "fags" go to hell...

"Connor, please... Just listen to me. All I want is what's best for you. Look at what you've done to your mother, she's so upset. She wants grandchildren from you, and if you're with that thing, you can never provide any for her."

"Excuse me?" I reply angrily. "That thing? His name is Jude, and he's my boyfriend. I'm gay dad. I like boys, how many times do I have to say it?"

"Stay down here and don't come upstairs. God help me Connor, if you come up those stairs I'll make you regret it."

He stares me down. By this point I'm full of fear and comply to what he says.

"I'll be right back," he tells me while heading upstairs.

I'm frozen on the couch and jump when I hear a door slam. The slam is later followed by screaming, and then, something breaks against the groud. Suddenly full of fear, I creep upstairs slowly, afraid at what my father had done.

As I walk down the hallway, I hear him mumbling to himself in my room. What in the world could be be doing in my room? I slowly turn the door open, and the scene before me causes me to jump back in terror.

**Jude's POV:**

Connor still hasn't called me and it's been a whole day. I guess he never really cared at all... At least it's Saturday, which means I can have two days to clear my head and calm myself down.

Of course I'm still upset, but I've managed to make the tears stop. Hopefully a heart to heart talk with Mariana can brighten up my day.

I knock on the door before hearing a, "Come in!"

Thankfully it was Mariana's voice and not Callie's. We haven't been the same since our fight yesterday. She even tried talking to me afterwards around ten o'clock, but I rolled on my side and pretended to be asleep.

"Where's Callie?" I ask while stepping into Mariana's room and sitting down next to her.

"She went out somewhere with Wyatt, but she should be back soon."

"Oh," I reply sadly.

"What's bothering you, Jude?"

"I feel really bad about yelling at Callie like that," I say. "I know that she doesn't want me to get bullied or picked on, but I also want her to understand that I'm not like all the other kids. I want her to understand that I'm different."

Her arms wrap around me, squeezing me tightly, and I hug her back.

I love Callie, I love her more than anything in this world. But sometimes she can be too protective and she's the one who ends up hurting me. I don't want to hurt anymore.

"Talk to her, I'm sure she'll listen. Last night all she could talk about was how bad she felt for becoming so angry with you. She loves you, Jude, she just doesn't want anybody to hurt you. That's what older sisters are suppose to do."

"Callie was sorry?" I question, starting to feel a little more hopeful.

"She sure did Judicorn," Mariana responds.

"Good, because I did too."

By this point I'm nearly crying. I never say anything bad about anyone because it's mean and pointless. When are they ever going to hear it, anyway? I feel horrible for saying all those things to Callie, I just hope she can accept my apology.

"I'm going to apologize to her today when she comes home."

Mariana and I head down stairs and watch a movie while we wait for Callie to come home. Like Mariana said, it didn't take her long, maybe like half an hour or so. Wyatt isn't with her, but I don't bother to ask why.

"Hey little buddy," she says while sitting next to me on the couch.

Callie gives Mariana a "can we have some privacy please?" look, and she's gone in a matter of seconds.

"Look," she starts off. "I'm so sorry about everything I said yesterday. You're right, it is good to be different and be yourself, but you understand why I worry, right?"

"I know Callie, and I'm sorry too. I just have a lot on my mind right now and when you said those awful things to me, I just blew up on you, and that wasn't fair."

"No Jude, don't say you're sorry, I'm the one who needs to take responsibility for my actions. That's something Rita taught me while I was at Girls United. I also learned to be given respect, you have to earn it, not expect it to just be handed to you."

She takes my hands in hers and smiles down at me.

"And if you ever want to paint your nails blue, let me do it okay?"

We both laugh, and for the first time today, I feel genuinely happy. I miss these moments Callie and I used to have. The moments where we could just be silly and not care what other people had to say about us.

"No more secrets, okay Jude?" she tells me.

"No more secrets," I say back.

"Another thing I learned in Girls United was that if you keep things in for too long, you'll become so consumed by it that it drives you crazy. I don't want us to have secrets anymore. I want us to be best friends like we used to."

Her words make me both happy and slightly guilty. The reason why I'm happy is that she wants to be close again, she wants us to share secrets, and she wants us to be like we used to be. It also makes me feel guilty because I'm hiding the biggest secret ever from her. Maybe now's the time she finds out the truth. After all, I did promise her that we would have no more secrets.

"Callie," I whimper out. "I have a secret I have to tell you."

"Me too, buddy," she says. "I've been keeping a pretty big secret from you, and now I feel like it's time for you to know."

**End of another chapter! Double cliffhanger, dun dun dun! *Thunder sounding in the distance* What do you guys think Connor's dad did in his room? And what is Callie going to tell Jude!? HINT: If you watch the Fosters, you'll probably have a pretty good idea.**

**Anon: I used your suggestion and decided to space the story out more, I hope you guys like the suspense!**

**Sorry that this chapter is a little short, but I promise the next chapter will be worth it! I'll try to update tonight (maybe) or sometime tomorrow because it's Fourth of July and I'm having family over :) BTW thanks for the support everyone! Oh and thanks for the 69 reviews x'DD Same old message: Drop a review, favorite, follow this story etc please, it means a lot c:**

**~The OG Judicorn**


	7. Promises and Sunday Morning

***Warning***

**A scene of child abuse does take place in this chapter, so if you aren't comfortable with reading that, I encourage you not to. If you okay with such a thing (Like we see very often on the real Fosters TV show) then please read on.**

**Jude's POV:**

Callie still has my hands connected to hers. I can feel my breathing becoming more and more rapid by the second. My hands are becoming soaked in sweat. Is it getting hot in here?

"Listen Jude," she says while looking deep into my eyes. "A few days ago, I found out that I have a younger sister. Her name is Sophia and she's only fourteen years old. She sent me a letter and a picture of her. In her letter she said that she wants to meet me. The reason I didn't tell you sooner was because I needed time to think, you know? It was all just thrown at me. I wanted to wait until I was ready to talk about it."

Her eyes keep peering into my soul. I feel like I should be angry at Callie for keeping something so big from me, but I understand what it's like to need time. Instead of being upset with her, I'm actually extremely happy for her. Ever since we were kids she's always wanted a bigger family, and now maybe Sophia can be a key for her. A key to a happier life, like the ones you always see on TV because people are too afraid to show you how ugly families and life can really be. Trust me, I should know.

"Wow," I say, still slightly shocked. "Callie I'm so happy for you, this is amazing! Ever since we were kids you've always wanted a bigger family, and now maybe this is your chance. I think you should get to know Sophia, she'd be happy to realize what a great big sister she has."

Suddenly, I feel tears streaking down my face. At first it was just one or two, but in a matter of seconds, I was crying at full force. My breathing became shaky and cold and I could feel my eyes turning puffy and red.

"Jude?" Callie whispers to me. "I thought you were happy for me?"

Callie wipes away my stray tears and I try my best to catch my breath.

"I'm sorry," I finally choke out. "I don't know what's come over me. I'm just afraid that maybe you'll realize you like Sophia more than me because she's your little sister. What if she's better than me?"

"You don't really believe that, do you?" she questions me.

All I can do is shake my head slightly.

"She's my sister, meeting her is something she deserves. No matter how great or nice she is, she'll never be you. Who's the one I've taken care of since they were a baby? Who's the one I left birthday cookie crumbs for? Who's the one I would do anything for?"

My feelings start to go into overdrive. The thought of losing Callie scares me to the pit of my very being.

"I love you so much Callie, I'm just afraid of losing you. Everyone I love leaves me. Mom, the few nice foster families we've had, Con..."

I cut myself off at his name, not wanting to get into it now.

"I love you too Jude. I'm not like all those other people. Not matter what happens you'll always have me. I'm the one who drove all those miles to get you right when I got out of juvie. You mean the world to me Jude, I hope that you'll always remember that."

"You mean the world to me too," I reply, the tears finally calming themselves down.

We talk about how much we love each other for a full ten minutes. Callie's words assure me that no matter how great Sophia might be, I'll always be the one who means the most to her.

"So, what did you want to tell me?" Callie says after our intense conversation.

"If I tell you, are you going to hate me?" I ask her.

"You know I could never hate you," she responds immediately afterwards.

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise," she tells me while sticking out her pinkie, sealing the promise.

A million thoughts begin to race through my mind. What if she isn't okay with me being me? What if she hates me? No way, Callie loves me, she wouldn't hate me over something like this. Something that I'm not able to control.

"Maybe I always knew, or maybe it just took me time to realize it, but now I'm positive. Callie, I'm gay. Ever since I was a kid I knew I was different. I knew I didn't like girls. And now you know too."

Like I expected, she's stunned by my words. I can't read her face. It's impossible.

"Oh my god," she mutters out softly. "No, you're just confused buddy. This is all just one big phase, almost every boy at your age goes through something similar to this. It'll pass, I can promise you that."

"No, it's not a big phase. I know for a fact I like boys," I reply coldly.

"Oh really?" she says with slight curiosity. "And how could you possibly know that at your age?"

"Because I've actually kissed a boy before, and it felt right. I liked it."

Stunned could no longer describe the look on Callie's face. She was astounded, completely astounded. The thought of her sweet and innocent little brother kissing another boy was probably a thought that had never crossed her mind until this day.

"You're lying," she finally spits out.

"I'm not," I whisper out silently.

"Who's the boy then?" she asks me.

"It's Connor, he's my boyfriend. We've been seeing each other for exactly a week and a day, and the reason I didn't tell you was because I needed to understand it myself first. I wanted to take things one step at a time instead of saying it all at once."

"Who else knows about this?"

"Almost everyone. Mariana knew first, then Jesus, then moms. I still haven't told Brandon, but I've been so overwhelmed lately that I couldn't find any time to do it."

"Practically the whole house knew before me?"

My eyes connect with Callie's and I can tell she's hurt. Incredibly hurt. I never wanted things to turn out like this.

"Callie, I'm sorry okay? I was scared at how you would take it. I knew you were going to say it was a phase, but I didn't want to hear it. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I wish you could open your eyes and realize that."

"No," she cries out harshly. "This is all in your head Jude."

"I wish it was. But it's not. This is who I really am, Callie. I don't want to hide myself from you anymore."

She doesn't say anything to me. Instead, she storms out of the room, not bothering to glance back at me. I guess she made up her mind about me...

**Connor's POV:**

"Dad, what are you doing!" I scream at him.

He whips his head around and looks at me with the eyes of a crazed madman. His teeth are grinding together and he looks like a time bomb waiting to go off, explode, and destroy anything in it's proximity.

My father's gone completely crazy. The landline that was once connected to my wall was now disconnected and smashed to nothing but bits and pieces. Even the cord had been ripped out of the wall and had been thrown against my bedroom floor.

Jude had given me three bottles of blue nail polish, and I owned another three. Every single bottle had been thrown onto the ground and smashed into broken glass. Blue nail polish was splattered all over my room.

"This is for your own damn good!" he screams at me. "You'll understand why I did all of this when you're older!"

"No I won't!" I shout back at him. "Dad, I like boys! I like boys! I like boys! Do I have to say it again for you to comprehend it?"

He rushes over to me and slaps me across the face. The slap is soon followed by a punch to the face, and then one to my stomach, and then another to the face and so on...

"Stop, please..." I beg while trying to catch my breath.

What he does next makes me fill with fear. His nails dig into my wrist and he pulls me close to him. Before I know what's going on he slams me against the wall, my back aching on impact.

"You will learn to be normal. I'm not going to let any son of mine be one of those fags who will burn and spend the rest of eternity in hell."

"Dad, please..." I plead, beginning to cry. "You're hurting me, please, let me go!"

"I'll let you go if you promise me you'll never call or contact that Jude boy again. I'm not going to let him corrupt you and mess up your future. Promise me Connor, promise me you won't let him ruin the perfect boy you've tried so hard to become."

"I promise I won't call or contact Jude!" I cry out loudly.

Once my sentence is complete he lets me go.

"That's my boy, my perfect boy that will be fixed in a matter of no time," he says before leaving my room and heading down stairs.

When I hear the TV turn on down stairs, I shut my door silently and lay down on my bed. My wrist was now covered in blood and nail marks. Slowly, I begin to cry and weep more and more.

He destroyed everything. My room, my relationship, and my love for my family. My own mother didn't even want to see me because I was gay.. Caleb ratted out my secret to our dad... And as for my dad, I don't have to say how ugly things got between us.

What kind of father is willing to beat his own son and destroy his room just to prove a point? Just to prove that being gay is wrong in the eyes of many?

For the rest of the night I cry and cry, unable to fall asleep. All I want to do is call Jude and tell him about what happened, but I can't. My dad took away my cell phone and my landline is destroyed and disconnected.

Sometime during the night I crept down stairs to call Jude on the house phone, but it wasn't in its usual place. I quickly come to the conclusion that my father had hidden it or taken it into his bedroom.

Around one o'clock on Sunday morning I head into the hallway bathroom. My face... It's completely bruised and battered. I have a black eye, two in fact. Blood is still covered across my face from the prior beating.

I wet a wash cloth, trying to wipe the blood off of my face, but it burns way too much.

I slide down onto the bathroom floor and start to cry once more. All I can do is cry, and cry, and cry. No one's coming to save me... Not Caleb, not Jude, not even my own mother.

They all left me here with a monster to rot. Worst of all, that monster is my own poor excuse of a father. My father, the man who hates the gay community, beats the son he's supposed to protect, and has so far not regretted a single one of his actions.

I can't even call him my dad anymore, he doesn't deserve the title. Not after last night.

**End of another chapter! Sorry things got so violent there, but I felt like it was a huge part of the story and shows more of what actually happens to real people. On a side note, thank you guys for all the reviews! I went from 69 to 94 reviews in one day! My goal is 100!**

**I went to the movies and when I came home I had 34 Fanfiction notifications! Thank guys! PS: I saw "Deliver Us From Evil." Good movie, check it out!**

**aphass: Good job on being the first one to figure it out! **

**I will try to update soon, have a great night or morning, wherever you guys are! **

**~The OG Judicorn**


	8. The Office

***Warning***

**Minor scenes of self harm (two or three paragraphs) may or may not be triggering.**

**Connor's POV:**

Sunday was all just one big blur. Neither mom nor Caleb came home. I spent the whole day hiding in my bedroom, icing my face, but throwing the ice packs against the wall when the pain became too intense for me too handle.

The reason why I say "too intense for me to handle," is because the pain never really does goes away. It's awakes there, sometimes manageable, and sometimes too intense for me to take.

My father didn't seem to care. All he cared about was trying to make his "perfect" son straight and normal. A few times throughout the day our home phone would ring. Every time I heard the chime, I secretly hoped it would be Jude on the other line calling, but he never did.

Loneliness begins to flood my troubled mind. All I can do is stare up at my wall, wishing it would come crashing down on. The broken bottles of blue nail polish are still shattered all over the ground.

What I do next surprises even me. I grab one of the bigger pieces of glass and lift up my shirt. I press against my stomach and cut downwards, making a perfect line. I continue this, a force overwhelming me, not allowing me to stop.

My stomach is soon covered with over ten red lines and blood. All I can do is press an old t-shirt against my stomach, wanting everything to be over.

I cried myself asleep again that night, and when I woke up on Monday morning, I couldn't be happier. Monday meant school and school meant getting away from my abusive father.

As I walked into the hallway bathroom to shower, I noticed that none of my bruises had healed. I lifted up my shirt and the red cuts were still there, throbbing. My wrist still had the marks of my father's nails. I would have to wear my battle scars for everybody to see.

Knowing my father, he'll probably give me a lame excuse to feed my friend and teachers. And he did. He told me to tell them I was attacked by a group of gay bashes outside of school grounds, and then I called him afterwards to pick me up, and by the time he had arrived they were all gone. It makes me sad to think this is partially a true story. My father, the gay basher, attacking me off of school grounds.

My shower doesn't last more than ten minutes, and I brush my teeth and hair in less than five. My father notices I'm rushing, and of course I lie, saying I have to be early today to talk to my English teacher about extra credit.

I bolt from the bathroom to my bedroom in a hurry. I throw on the first thing I see; plain blue jeans and a matching plaid blue t-shirt. I grab my backpack from down stairs and walk to school with lightning speed.

When I first get there, I thought no one would notice my bruised face and mangled wrist. I was wrong. Horribly wrong. The second I stepped into the main school, a seventh grade teacher saw my face and told me to go to the principal's office this instance.

I turn back on my heels and walk towards the principal's office, ignoring all the stares and whispers that surround me. Every kid in the eighth grade is staring me down. Some have the courage to come up to me and ask what happened, but I don't bother to answer any of them.

My heart begins to race as I enter the office. Like in the hallways, every person in that office can't take their eyes off of me. Why can't people just mind there own damn business? Trying my best to ignore them, I head into the main principal's office.

Lena sits in her chair, filing paperwork, and sipping her coffee. I tap on the door quietly before stepping inside and taking a seat. Her eyes grow wide and she nearly spits out her coffee. I wonder why Lena is in the main principal's office, but then I remember they were looking to hire a new one, so I guess she's filling in for today.

"One of the seventh grade teachers told me to come see you," I sputter out. "I assume you can tell why?"

"Connor," she says sternly. "Tell me, what happened to your face? Who did this to you?

I don't look at her, I can't. Lena and her family have been amazing to me. They allowed me to come to Jude's adoption, have me over for dinner almost every night, and they even let me have a relationship with their son. I can't tell her the truth.

"I was beat up," I say softly.

"By who?" she asks me. "Why did they do this to you? Can you tell me who did this and why? Did the attack take place on school grounds?"

"I don't know who did it," I reply, shaking my head to make it look more convincing. "But I know why they did it."

"Why did they do this to you, sweetheart?" she begs me.

"Because I'm gay," I say underneath my breath. "I guess the word got out, and a group of boys attacked me outside of school. They kept screaming that all fags go to hell. They were all bigger than me, I couldn't defend myself. They kept hitting me and hitting me, and I begged them to stop, but they just kept punching me. When they were done they ran away and just left me there. I don't remember much after that, it's all foggy. I called my dad right after and told him to pick me up, but by the time he got there, the group of boys had disappeared."

Lena takes my hands in hers, holding back the tears in her eyes. I'm also fighting back my tears. It hurts too much to feed her lies, but if I tell her the truth, I'll only make things worse. Not just for me, but maybe even for her family as well.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you Connor. If you ever need anywhere to stay or just want people to talk to, the Foster's home is always open. And I'm sure Jude would love to have you over again."

My heart aches at the sound of his name. Jude probably hates me right now. I wouldn't blame him, I'm starting to hate myself too.

After talking to Lena I head off to my first period class. A few people accidentally elbow me in my stomach as I make my way from class to class, reminding me of what I had done to myself the other day.

I avoid people all day and dodge everyone's questions. By lunch time I'm back in Lena's office, hiding away from the rest of the world. I wish I could hide in here forever.

**Jude's POV:**

When I first arrived at school, I was hoping that Connor would be standing outside my locker, but he was no where to be found. I spent half the day wishing to see him in the halls or having him hug me from behind, but none of those things ever happened.

All I wanted to do was ask him why his dad said all those awful things to me. I wanted to know why he wasn't there to defend me. I had so many questions, but only he had all the answers.

By the time lunch rolled around I was already emotionally drained. I sat at my usual table in the back, away from all the other tables, which I liked because it gave me more space and privacy.

I took only one bite into my tuna sandwich before putting it down. I don't really have much of an appetite today, and if I do see Connor, I don't want to have nasty tuna breath. Plus, if I had tuna stuck in my teeth, I would die.

Now I wish I had eaten the sandwich, because he never showed up to lunch. He probably ditched me for his cool soccer friends. Angry, I grabbed my lunch and threw it into the trash can. I didn't want to be in the cafeteria, I needed somewhere I could think.

I grab my backpack and start heading to my mom's office. That's one of the perks about having your mom be the vice principal, spending time in their office, away from all the annoying people. Now smiling at the thought of Lena, I step into her office, and the scene before me makes me nearly scream.

Connor... His face is bruised. Bruised everywhere. Both of his eyes are black and beaten.

"Connor!" I scream, sitting down next to him. "What happened to your face? Who did this to you?"

Before he answers me, he turns his attention to Lena, and asks her if we can be alone for a few minutes. She shakes her head quickly before leaving the office.

"Connor?" I cry out one more time, taking his hands into mine.

"If I tell you, you can't tell anyone, okay? Not your moms, not Callie, not Jesus. This has to stay between us."

His words are shaky and soft. The look on his face is that of pure fear. Even his hands are shaking at a rapid pace.

"I promise," I whisper to him.

"Okay," he sighs out. "My dad, after he picked me up from soccer practice, he hit me. He hit me for being with you. I kept telling him that this is who I am, but he wouldn't listen to me. He just kept hitting and punching me Jude! I kept crying and begging him to stop but he wouldn't!"

At this point Connor began to cry and all I could do was take him into my arms and tell him it's all going to be alright. I tried my best to sound sweet and soothing, kind of like Mariana.

"When I went into my room, he had pulled the landline out of the wall and smashed it against the ground! All my bottles of blue nail polish had been destroyed!"

"That's horrible," I say to him. "I'm here for you, I'll always be here for you," I whisper into his ear.

"And I'm so glad I have you," he whispers back.

Connor pulls away from the hug, kissing me softly. I kiss him back and we stay like that for a whole ten seconds, both of us becoming intoxicated by the kiss.

I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it's a good feeling for once. I missed kissing Connor. I missed having his lips pressed against mine. I missed him in general.

We talked for awhile, catching up on everything we missed. He tells me every detail about what happened between him and his father, and I become more and more disgusted at how closed minded his family really is.

I tell Connor about what his dad said when he called me and all he can do is apologize.

"Don't apologize," I tell him. "It's your dad's fault, not yours. I'm not mad at you."

"But I should of done something. I should of told him to stop, I should of done something! What he did to you wasn't fair-"

Before Connor can finish his sentence, I take his lips into mine. At least that got him to be quiet. This time he uses his tongue and I just lay back, letting him take complete control. I can feel his lips curl into a smile on mine.

**End of another serious chapter! Self harm is something many people struggle with, so now I feel more people can connect with this story. I've decided I'm going to make these author's notes shorter. Thanks for all the reviews, went from 94 to 121! Please keep them coming! I will try to update later today or possibly tomorrow morning at latest (:**

**JonnorFTW: Thank you so much for sharing this story with your friends, the support means a lot!**

**~The OG Judicorn **


	9. Five Eyes

**Jude's POV:**

Connor hugged me good bye after school, but I decided not to invite him over today. He needs time, and I don't want to rush things too much. I also don't want to give his dad another reason to beat him.

Jesus and I walk home together. I'm happy because this is one of the few days he doesn't have wrestling practice, which means we'll actually have time to hang out today.

"I think I'm going to tell Brandon about me today," I say after walking in five minutes of complete silence.

"Tell him what... Oh!" says Jesus after finally getting the idea. "Good for you little bro!"

"Do you think he'll be okay with it?" I ask Jesus.

"Of course he will," he replies. "Moms except you, Mariana excepts you, I except you, and Callie will have to come around eventually. It's all going to work out dude."

"I hope Callie comes around," I mutter under my breath.

"Of course she will, why would you even say that?"

"We talked yesterday, and she said some pretty nasty things. She kept telling me it was a phase, I was just confused, and so many other things that weren't true. I know who I am, I don't need her trying to make me feel ashamed about myself."

"It's a lot for her to take in right now, Jude. Think about it; You've had thirteen years to come to terms with this, Callie hasn't even had one week. Give her time. If she can except our moms being gay than she'll come around and learn to except you too."

I thank my older brother as we continue walking. Sure, Jesus does clown around a lot, but when it comes to something serious he always rises to the occasion. He helped me come to terms with me being myself, and I couldn't be more thankful.

When we arrive home, I set my backpack down and immediately head for Brandon's room. Thankfully he's alone, because nowadays he's been spending a lot of his time with his new band.

"Hey Brandon," I call out while stepping into his room.

"Come in, Jude," he says back to me, turning away from his computer.

I sit down on his bed while he gives me his full attention.

"Did you want to talk about something?" he questions me.

"Yes I did, actually. There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time, but I've been waiting until the time was right. The thing is... I'm gay."

**Connor's POV:**

Today my mom and Caleb finally came back. Even though I felt like they both hated me, it was nice to know I wouldn't be left alone with my father. When my mom saw my face she didn't even question it. Instead, she threw her head back and walked right past me.

No one has done anything to make me feel like I'm still apart of this family.

Finally having enough of everyone's attitude, I take a piece of the broken nail polish bottle and begin to cut myself once more. Once I'm done I grab the same old t-shirt and begin to press down on my broken skin.

Don't ask me why I did it, because I'm not exactly sure myself. Sometimes I think it's because I want to feel something, or another time I'm just angry with everyone and everything, and other times I just can't control myself.

My mind soon begins to think about my older brother. Caleb and I haven't talked yet. He knows I'm angry at him, but I wish he would at least say something to me.

As for my father, he's been acting totally normal, which scares me the most. He swears like nothing happened between us, like he never laid a single hand on me.

I lay on my bed for hours until there's a knock on my door. I let out a small, "Come in."

My eyes examine Caleb as he steps into my room. At least he isn't shutting me out anymore, that's a good thing, right?

"Can we talk?" he asks me.

**Adam's POV: (Connor's Dad)**

"That boy had what was coming to him," I tell my wife as she prepares dinner. "After everything we've ever given him, he has the nerve to go off on us like that and make such stupid mistakes? Please."

"You're right dear," my wife replies to me. "You did the right thing, giving Connor a stern lesson like that. I can't even stand being in the same room as him! And if he doesn't change then I certainly won't have a fag living in my house!"

"I'm sorry dear, you know I'm trying my hardest to fix him! I've been thinking, maybe we can send Connor to church and get him to talk to Pastor John. Maybe he can talk some sense into that confused boy of ours."

"He better, or else he can go live with your mother in Canada. If he's not going to be normal I don't want him around people we know."

I nod my head silently, turning away from her.

Dear God, what's wrong with my son? I've done everything right! I put him in sports, introduced him to a ton of girls, gave him everything he's ever wanted, but he still came out wrong!

I don't want my son to have the type of that life I had. I want him to be popular, smart, and have a lot of friends. I want him to be somebody others look up too. But if that Jude boy stays in his life, it'll only makes things worse for Connor.

Even though I don't always treat him right, I love my son, but every once in a while he deserves a good beat down to teach him a lesson.

Maybe with another smack to the forehead I can set that boy straight, and this time for good.

**Lena's POV:**

I convinced Stef to return from work early today so we could talk. I told her it was urgent and it needed to be taken care of today. Concerned at first, she agrees, and says she'll be home earlier today than usual.

As I wait for her, I rest on our bed, reading a music book Brandon had given me not to long ago. Stef enters the room, taking off her coat, and sits down next to me.

"What's going on honey?" she says with her voice full of concern.

"It's about Jude's boyfriend Connor," I reply quietly, just in case someone is standing outside the door or in the hallway.

"Connor, what about him?" she says back.

"Well," I begin. "He got injured and beaten horribly. I asked him what had happened, and he said a group of gay bashers attacked him after school."

"Oh my goodness," cries Stef. "That's awful! What else happened?"

"To be honest Hun, I think his story was a lie," I say coldly.

Stef gives me a serious look, as if she's trying to figure out if I'm lying or not. Our eye contact becomes intense, and at that point she realizes that I'm not playing any games.

"Why do you think that?" she questions me with curiosity echoing in her voice.

"Because when I left my office, I heard Connor tell Jude that his father beat him."

**Callie's POV:**

Monday night, great. I already hate Mondays enough, but today is really the cherry on top of a horrible day. Jude still isn't talking to me, I was late to class, some girl ended up wearing my lunch today, and I lashed out at Wyatt for no reason. What's wrong with me today?

I sigh as I head down stairs and into the living room. Jesus is watching some cheesy horror movie and eating, can you guess, a bag of chips.

"Can I join you?" I ask.

"Yeah of course," he says while clearing space for me on the couch.

I don't waste any time just sitting there, I needed to talk to Jesus about Jude.

"Jesus," I say while facing him. "Jude and I, ever since our fight, things have gone from bad to worst. Has he said anything about me? Anything at all?"

"I'm not going to lie, he's really mad at you."

"But why?" I say with anger.

"Because you made fun of his sexuality. He can't control that, Callie, and it wasn't cool what you said to him."

"Did he say anything else about me?" I ask desperately.

"Yeah, he said..."

**Mariana's POV:**

_~Mariana's Diary~_

_Dear diary,_

_A lot has been going on in the Foster's home, and I'm here to tell it all!_

_My life so far has been nothing but dance practice, Judicorn, and homework. I feel like the other girls on the dance team don't like me because I'm Mexican... But that's enough about me for now, let's move on to the rest of the family!_

_Callie's been acting really different lately, but I can't figure out what's going on with her. This all started about three days ago, and I've been meaning to talk to her, but she's been so distant these past few days that she hasn't given me a chance. _

_Then there's my little Judicorn. I can't believe it, but his love life is much more interesting than mine, and he's only thirteen years old! I love my baby brother, and I'm happy that he can share all his secrets with me._

_Judicorn has a boyfriend his age, and his name's Connor. I've met him on several occasions and he's a really sweet boy! Totally a great match for my little Jude!_

_Moms are usually just that, moms, but today they were acting different. Stef came home early from work today, and as I walked past their bedroom door, I heard something about Connor... I wonder what's going on._

_Until next time diary, I'll have more family gossip soon! Maybe I'll dish out something about Jesus and Brandon next!_

**End of another chapter! As you guys can see, I took down my mean rant. I realize now that it was stupid, mean, and immature and I promise I'll never bring anything so personal into my stories again. As for that one person, and anyone else who might have gotten hurt, I'm sorry. I'm compulsive and I need to learn to control myself.**

** Again, I apologize, especially to all my readers. To make it up to you guys, I added a POV with Connor's dad, so I hope you guys enjoy (:**

**As for updating, sometime within the next hour or so!**

**~The OG Judicorn**


	10. Running From It All

**Lena's POV:**

"What?" Stef whispers out.

"He told Jude that after he picked him up from soccer practice, he beat him for being gay. Connor went on to tell Jude that he begged his father to stop, but he kept punching him, unable to stop himself."

"Do you think that's the real story? Are you sure you heard it right?"

"I'm sure Stef," I sputter out loudly.

"What do you think we should do about it?" she ask me compassionately.

"I don't know," I choke out. "If I can get Connor to talk to me, to agree to file a police report, could we make a case? No child should ever have to experience things of that nature."

"You're the vice principal," Stef begins. "He came to school with bruises. You have the right to contact the authorites."

Stef goes on to explain that if a child comes to school with bruises, cuts, or anything like that you are required to contact their parents. I tell her that Connor had told me his father already knew, and that I didn't find out the real story until afterwards.

"The only thing you can do is wait for Connor to come to you. If he doesn't agree to file a police report, I don't think we can start an investigation."

"I'll try to talk to him tomorrow," I reply.

Stef and I lay there in sweet silence, but the thought of Connor was burning me up inside. It pains me to think of that poor boy's bruised face and what his father must being doing to him. It hurt me even more when I realized Jude was being exposed to abuse again.

Right now I just lean back and try to take things slow. I'll help him soon, tomorrow, but for now I shouldn't stress myself out.

**Connor's POV:**

"What do you want?" I ask as he walks into my room.

"I want to talk," he replies. "Can I sit down?"

I manage to flip myself over and sit in an upright position, giving him space to sit. Caleb sits down next to me, and I can tell he's really upset. His eyes are puffy and red from crying, and his normally laid back facial expression is now full of pain and misery.

"You know I love you, and you know I'd do anything you want with no questions asked, but you've got to hear me out. I didn't want to tell dad everything, but you know how intimidating he can be. I don't know what he told you, or what he said, but this is what really happened. After I came back home from dropping you off, he confronted me at the front door."

Caleb, instead of continuing his sentence, lifts up his shirt to reveal bruises all across his chest and stomach. I flinch, not wanting to look anymore.

"He beat me, and I can tell he did the same thing to you. Dad kept punching me, screaming at me, telling me if I didn't disappear for a few days that next time I wouldn't be this lucky."

Tears are now flowing down my face and all I can do is hug my older brother. I wanted to hug him for longer than I did, but we were both in so much pain that we couldn't stay that way anymore.

"I'm so sorry," I whimper out to him.

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm your older brother, I should be protecting you, not letting you get abused and beaten by your own dad."

I let out a loud sob, remembering how awful my own father was to me. How could anyone be so cruel to their own flesh and blood? What made him so cold?

Caleb stays in my room for awhile. I ask him about mom, and he says that I don't want to know. The thought of both my parents hating me because I'm gay makes me angry, but it's not like I can do anything about it... I can't change who I am.

He walks around my room, looking at the damage my father had done. I don't know why I hadn't bothered to clean up the mess yet, it just wasn't something on my list of priorities. A part of me thinks I keep it as a reminder of what had happened, but that's just sick.

As he picks up some of the remaining rubble from the floor, he spots my blood stained t-shirt and picks it up. He tosses it between his hands, as if trying to establish whether it was real or not.

"Why are the red lines on this t-shirt so straight?" he asks me.

I don't answer him directly, instead, I lift up my shirt and show him what I did to myself when I was alone. He drops the t-shirt to the ground and rushes over to me, unable to remove his eyes from my stomach. He stretches out his arms and feels the cuts, and I flinch and fall back, still sore all over.

"Why?" he cries out simply. "How could you do something so awful to yourself?"

"Because nobody seemed to care," I say back numbly.

"Really!" he screams at me. "Are you freaking serious Connor? I care! I care about you! I'll always care about you, you're my little brother! And what about Jude, does he not care either? You have people who love you Connor, how could you be such an idiot!"

"You sound just like dad!" I scream back at him.

His words were like a bullet to my heart. How could he be so mean?

"You say you care, but here you are screaming at me and making me feel bad about myself! Yes, I know it was stupid and that I shouldn't of done it! I felt so alone that there was no other choice! I just wanted to make myself feel something!"

Caleb takes in a deep breath before saying, "Connor, just calm down. We can talk through all of this."

"I don't want to talk anymore," I spit out. "You know what? Just get out."

"What?" he sighs out. "You think you can get rid of me that easily?"

Before I can control my actions, I stand up on my two feet and yell, "Just leave! Go away! Leave me alone!"

"Fine. You want to be alone and cut yourself? Wish granted, I'm out of here!"

He slams the door as he leaves, but I couldn't care less. Knowing I don't have much time until dinner starts, I pack everything I can into my soccer bag before escaping out my window.

They don't want to treat me like a member of the family? Fine, I'm out of here.

**Jude's POV:**

I look at Brandon, expecting him to become angry and judge me, but he does the exact opposite. He rises up from his chair and gives me a big hug, congratulating me on finally finding out who I am.

"I'm so proud of you, Jude," he says. "It takes a lot to come out and be open with who you are, and I'm glad you can share something so personal with me."

Like with all the others (except Callie) I thank him for being so supportive and expecting me as I am, and I shot him a bright smile.

"How long have you know?" he asks me after the dust settles.

"For a long time, actually. When I was a kid I knew I was different, and now I know why."

"That's great, Jude. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you're weird, okay? Because you're not. You're different, and last time I checked, being different meant being interesting and being an individual."

"I know that now. I'm never going to let people make me feel bad about myself again."

"Why do you sound so sad?" he asks me.

I sigh before saying, "Because Callie doesn't except the fact that I'm gay. I don't understand why. If you and everyone else can look past that then why can't she? Why can't she just love me like everybody else does?"

"She does love you, Jude. Callie's just a complicated girl, and you and I both know she's not good with change. All she needs is time to take things in and absorb the information."

"Maybe I am throwing this at her really fast," I reply.

"It's okay little brother. Just because things don't look good now doesn't mean they won't be better tomorrow."

"Thanks for the great advise, Brandon."

Brandon pats me on my back, congratulating me once more. This is the time when I remember Brandon is the smart brother. Who would of thought a foster kid like me could ever end up with such an amazing family?

**Callie's POV:**

"Yeah, he said that he thinks you'll never come around."

"Never come around?" I ask. "What in the world is that suppose to mean?"

"It's mean that no matter how much time passes, you'll never except the fact that he's gay. He feels like you don't understand that this isn't just a phase."

"But it is!" I yell out. "He can't be gay, Jesus. He just can't be..."

"And why not?" he tells me. "What's so wrong with being gay?"

I whip my head away from Jesus, not wanting him to see me like this. He doesn't understand how serious this is. If the kids at school ever found out that Jude was "gay," they'd never let him hear the end of it.

Everyday they'll tease him, call him every name in the book, and tell him that all fags will burn in hell. No way I'm going to let people treat my baby brother like that.

"I can't do this right now," I say between my teeth as I get ready to leave.

"You can't ignore this forever Callie!" he screams to me.

"Watch me!" I scream back.

I grab my purse and twenty dollars. I open the door and start walking towards my favorite diner, which is about twenty minutes away from the house. At least the walk will help me calm my mind.

Jude, poor Jude. He's just going through some crazy phase that'll pass any day now. He'll be back to his normal self in no time, and it'll give the bullies no reason to target him.

I just wish he wouldn't go around and tell everyone in the family that he's gay. He needs to learn when to hold his tongue, because not everyone is going to be as excepting as our family. The whole world isn't like the Adams-Foster household.

**End of another chapter! I know I said this in the chapter before, but I would like to apologize for the drama that happened and to anyone who got hurt. And if you guys didn't see, I removed that stupid rant and added Adam's POV. Let's just put this behind us okay? Okay! Back to the story! Where do you think Connor is running off too? Will Lena ever get to talk to Connor about what really happened?**

**I will update as soon as possible! Maybe tonight? Maybe tomorrow? You'll see!**

**~The OG Judicorn **


	11. Coming Around, Ever So Slowly

**Jude's POV:**

Brandon and I hear screaming down stairs, and suddenly, the front door slams shut. We look at each other before running down to the scene of the crime.

"What happened down here?" Brandon asks, his older brother instincts kicking in.

Jesus looks at both of us, obviously angry and irrated.

"It's Callie," he finally replies. "We were talking about how it's not fair that she's running from who you are, and she just stormed off!"

My heart drops. Callie left because of me... Again. She must really hate me now.

"Well, come on! We have to go find her! We can't just leave her out there!" I scream.

Brandon and Jesus exchange a look before my oldest brother speaks.

"No Jude, I think it's best we give her time to cool down. She can't stay gone forever. And there's also the fact that her phone is GPS operated, so moms always know where she is at all times."

I let out a sigh of relief before turning my head towards Jesus.

"Why did she leave again?" I whimper out. "Did I do something wrong again?"

Jesus pulls me into a hug, explaining that he might of pushed Callie too hard and was the reason for her needing space. Brandon goes on to say that we all know Callie's a complicated girl, but I can't help feeling like this is all my fault.

Soon after all the drama, moms leave, saying they're going out to pick Mariana up from dance practice and will be home soon. They smile at me, telling us they'll be back soon, and my heart starts to grow heavier.

The three of us wait down stairs on the couch, expecting Callie to come knocking on the door any minute now and come rushing in. I'm half right, we get a knock on the door, but it doesn't sound like Callie. This knock is loud and furious, frantic in a way.

Brandon and Jesus head towards the door and I follow closely behind. Jesus opens the door, and instead of Callie returning home, it's someone I never expected to see at my house.

"Can I help you?" asks Brandon politely.

"I sure as hell hope you can!" he screams while pushing his way through my two older brothers and into our house.

He comes face to face with me, peering straight into my eyes, a crazy and rabid look igniting in them.

"Where is my son," he says between his teeth.

"Connor?" I reply.

"You know who I'm talking about fag!" he shouts while pushing me against the wall. "Where is he! He's not in his room, so I know he has to be here! Where is my son!"

I struggle under his weight, kicking around, unable to break free. I'm scared, but he hasn't hit me yet. I wonder if this is the feeling Connor got when his father pinned him against the wall before beating him.

I never found out the answer to that question, because before he can lay another hand on me, Jesus wrestles him to the ground and demands to know what the hell's wrong with him.

"What's wrong with you you freak!" he shouts while putting Connor's dad down. "You may think you can go around terrorizing kids, but try picking on someone your own size like me!"

"Jesus, calm down!" Brandon yells. "Don't stoop down to his level and get yourself in even more trouble then you probably are in now! Moms will be home any minute!"

Brandon pulls Jesus off of Connor's dad, trying to tell him that he's not worth it.

"Please," Connor's dad pleads. "Just tell me where my son is. I went into his bedroom and he was gone. Some of his clothes and shoes are missing as well, and I assume he just ran off here."

His eyes fill with fear. I've never seen Connor's dad looking so... Human. By this point he's nearly crying, begging us to lead him to Connor. He calls out for him, but let's out loud sobs when he gets no reply. Connor's dad begins to pace back and fourth, begging Connor to stop hiding and come home.

My eyes soon fill with fear too. Connor, he ran away? Why? Why didn't he just come here? He knows the doors always open for him.

"We don't know where Connor is, I swear," I finally say.

Connor's dad looks into my eyes intensely, trying to establish whether I'm being faithful or not. I never leave his gaze, indicating that my words are true.

"If he's not here, where could he possibly be?" Connor's dad cries out.

I open my mouth to speak, but we're interrupted by the sound of the door knob turning.

"Connor?" I whisper out, hoping that it's him. Connor's dad whispered that too, and for a second, we look at each other but then turn our attention back to the door.

My eyes grow wide and eager. The door swings open, but it's not Connor. It's moms and Mariana.

"What's going on here?" Stef questions while crossing her arms.

Lena looks at Connor's dad and immediately grows weary.

"My son, he's missing. He ran away sometime today and I assumed he would be here, but I guess I was wrong."

Connor's dad then begins to cry, asking for us to help find Connor. I've never seen him so worried in my life. I hope we find Connor so he can see him like this, too.

Stef assigns everyone places to go check for Connor. Jesus is heading to the beach, Brandon to Connor's favorite store, and the rest of us are going to check his other friend's houses. I say a small prayer in my head, hoping that Connor's going to be okay.

**Callie's POV:**

I arrive at the diner in not twenty, but fifteen minutes. Considering the fact that I speed walked almost the whole way, that's a pretty good time in my book.

A large man swings the diner door open and I thank him as I head inside. The place is pretty empty, a few families here and there, and no one sitting on the stools. I take a seat at the first one I see and order a strawberry shake.

The waitress brings it over and I thank her before drinking it down. Halfway into my strawberry shake, a young boy enters the diner, and everybody's face drops. His eyes are black and he has bruises all over his face.

He walks over to the stool next to me and sits down. While he's not looking, I catch a few glimpses of him, examining all his other features. I know this boy. He comes over to my house almost everyday for dinner, I see him around school, and he also happens to be the boy who's dating my little brother.

"Connor?" I say after reassuring myself it's him.

He turns his head and looks at me. His face is blue and purple, and I can tell he's scared. I know what it's like to be scared. Next to him on the diner's floor is a sport's bag, probably full of clothes. Oh god, he ran away.

"Did you... Did you run away?"

"I had to," he replies quietly while shaking his head.

"Why do you feel like you needed to run away?" I ask with compassion.

"Because I felt like no one cared," he answers back, his voice sad and shaky.

"People always care," I respond. "Even if it doesn't seem like it."

"Oh yeah?" he chokes out. "My parents and brother didn't seem to care about me at all. That's why I left. If they don't understand the fact that I'm gay and they don't want me living there, then fine, I'm gone."

"Thats not right, that's not fair!" I cry out.

"Who ever said life was fair?" he questions numbly.

"Connor, it may not seem like it now, but people do care. I know for a fact Jude cares about you."

His eyes light up at the sound of my younger brother's name.

"He really, really likes you," I let out with a sigh. "And now it's time for me to except that."

"I really like him too," says Connor, his tone starting to become more cheery. "But I feel like I don't belong here. I hate my family, and I'm starting to hate myself. Why should I try to be happy if it's never going to work out?"

"Why do you think it's never going to work out?"

"Because my dad hates fags," he lets out simply.

As he spoke the words, they sounded like they actually hurt him. Guilt starts to build up inside me. Have I ever made Jude feel like that?

"He needs more time to except this," I say calmly. "Sometimes it takes longer for people to understand things, and they're afraid of what's different, but that doesn't mean they don't love you."

"My dad's been acting like this for years. When I was ten I knew I was gay, but he kept screaming at me, telling me it was all one big phase and that it would all pass. That hurt me because I knew this wasn't going to be just a phase. I had already spent two years prior trying to figure things out. He kept insisting and insisting, saying I needed help. I just want him to understand that I'm not making all of this up."

I take a deep breath. Poor Connor, no one should ever have to feel that way, and no one should ever make someone feel that way, including me. I've been so busy judging and assuming that I didn't realize Jude was hurting. I've been a horrible older sister.

"I'm so sorry for that," I tell him. "Let's say, on the off chance he never comes around. That's his own fault, not yours. He may try to tell you the kids at school will bully you or try to hurt you, and if they do, it's their fault too for being so closed minded. Society's the one who's wrong and ugly, not you."

"You think so?"

"Trust me, I know so. And after you're done here, I think you should go home or at least come to our home where you can be safe. I've been on the streets before, and it's a scary place, especially for a kid."

Connor nods thankfully. "I think I'll come stay with you guys, if that's okay? I can't go home, not yet. I'm not ready to face my family... I just want to feel safe again."

"You're always welcomed at our home, Connor."

I take another sip of my strawberry shake. No wonder Jude likes Connor so much. Under all that popular kid cover up, he's sweet and sensitive and sees things kids his age can't see. He understands what it's like to be different, and that's an influence Jude really needs in his life right now.

He's also taught me a few things, too. Like the fact that I need to except Jude for who he is and realize that this isn't just some phase. This is who he is. I need to support him.

**End of another chapter! This one is probably my new favorite, because Callie finally comes around and you find out more about Connor and his father. All you guys were expecting him to go to Jude's house, plot twist! I bet none of you guys saw that one coming! **

**As for updating, it may be a little later than usual :/ I have church and family stuff today, but I'll try to update later tonight or tomorrow! See you guys soon and thanks for reading!**

**~The OG Judicorn **


	12. Stop And Stare

**Connor's POV:**

Callie and I spend about half an hour at the diner just talking. We talked about everything from Jude, to our past problems, and even our flaws. Feeling safe around her, I ask her the question that's been on my mind all night.

"When you were in foster care, what was it like?" I ask her.

"Honestly, it depended on the people. There was only about two or three times Jude and I got into a good foster home, but other than that, it wasn't the best experience. Some people would only do it for the benefits, like free child labor or the money that they would spend on themselves. Others were neglectful and some were plain out abusive."

"Did Jude ever get abused in a foster home?"

By the look on her face I can tell I hit a heart string. Callie takes in a deep breath and stares forward, as if she's trying to remember all the times Jude was abused.

"Yeah," she responds quietly. "Most of the time it was just a smack here and there, but there was one foster home, the one we lived at before coming here, where the guy was really abusive. One day Jude tried on his deseaced wife's wedding dress and the guy snapped. Jude was onky a kid, he didn't know any better. The guy started beating the crap out of him and I knew I couldn't hit him back. Later the next day, I destroyed his car and was shipped off to juvie the next day."

She doesn't even try to hold her tears back, they just flow freely down her face, and she doesn't wipe away a single one.

"But it's better now, right?" I ask, trying to make her feel better.

"So much better," she let's out softly. "Lena and Stef love Jude more than anything. They taught him that being different is nothing to be ashamed about. I never thought we would get so lucky, finding people like them and all. Without them Jude would be really messed up."

"I feel like even though he doesn't show it, he's still kind of messed up."

Callie nods her head in agreement. "He's good at hiding his feelings."

"Yeah," I reply. "He's _really _good at that."

Callie lets out a laugh before asking, "What do you mean?"

I can feel a bright blush start to come across my face.

"Before we got together, I had always had feelings for him, but I wasn't sure if he felt the same way. He was so good at acting normal around me. When I found out he was gay, I couldn't help but smile. It gave me hope that maybe he would like me too."

"That's pretty cute," Callie says. "Does Jude know about that story?"

"Nope," I reply. "I never had the courage to tell him that story."

"Why not?" she questions.

"Because at the time, I was scared, but then we kissed and got together. I didn't think it mattered anymore."

She nods her head while saying, "Well, if you ever gather enough courage, I'm sure Jude would love to hear that story."

Callie and I continue to eat in silence, enjoying each other's company. We both finish and pay our bills before leaving for the Foster's home. It's dark outside, and I have no idea which way to go, but Callie seems to know the route by heart.

When we arrive at the house, Jude's family is all in the living room with my dad...

As soon as I step into his view he runs to me, constantly asking me if I'm okay and if I need anything.

His actions take me back. Why wasn't he so compassionate before? Why now?

As he hugs me I look over his shoulder and into Jude's eyes. He looks upset and his eyes are red and puffy, like he had been crying. Every time I try holding his gaze, he turns away, unable to look me in the eyes.

I break away from my father's hug and run towards Jude, throwing my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. I hold onto him as hard as I can and nearly break down when I feel his arms wrap around me.

We stand there while everyone watches in silence. Mariana awes and I can feel everyone's eyes burning into my back. I know we only have a few seconds until my father yanks me away, so I think on my feet and do what I've wanted to do since I walked in this room.

I kiss Jude, not caring that his whole family (including my father) were standing just a few feet away. He kisses me back with full force, knowing that this moment wouldn't last forever. Like always, I use my tongue, and Jude sits back while I do all the work. I don't mind, though. I think it's kinda cute.

The kiss only last a few seconds before I feel someone tear us apart. My dad... He always has to ruin everything.

All I expected to happen was that he would pull us apart and probably punish me later, in the privacy of our own home, but I was wrong. It got a lot darker than that.

"How dare you kiss my son!" he screams at Jude. "Are you trying to turn my son into a faggot and get him sent to the pits of hell?"

He raises his hand, ready to strike Jude, but I shove him and take the slap for him.

"No!" I yell. "You can hit me all you want, you can beat me for days and keep me trapped in my room for the rest of my life, but don't you ever put a hand on Jude!"

"You're lucky I don't send you away to Canada," he mutters between his teeth.

"You can't ignore me forever!" I cry out. "You can't just send me away!"

"I will if you keep behaving like this," he spits out harshly. "You're my son, I can do anything I want with you."

My father grabs me by my shirt and tries to drag me out the front door.

He only takes a few steps before Stef steps in front of him, threatening to arrest him for child abuse. They argue and scream at each other, as if they were trying to out voice one another. Stef eventually wins and my father leaves in a fit of rage.

Once all the dust settles Stef demands everyone, except Jude, Lena, and me, to go up stairs so we can discuss what just happened. All the doors shut and the house fills with silence.

"Connor," Lena begins. "You said some very serious things back there. Tell me, does your father beat you? Has he hit you more than once?"

All I can do is cry while Jude holds me in his arms. I finally nod my head and tell them this isn't the first time he's abused me. I tell them about the other day, how he slammed me against the wall and dug his nails into my wrist. How he punched me repeatedly, even when I begged him to stop.

Lena looks more hurt than Stef, as if she had already known and hearing it aloud was killing her. Stef was better at hiding her emotions, occasionally nodding her head to reassure me that she was listening to my story.

Jude holds my hand the whole time while I explain why he did it. They both look repulsed by what a horrible human being my father actually is.

"You can stay her as long as you need to," says Stef. "If you're ready, I can take you down to the station tomorrow to file a police report for child abuse. You shouldn't have to live with something like this."

I think for a full minute before replying, "Okay. I'll do it."

They spend a good ten minutes telling me it's the right thing to do and that I'm being extremely brave. Lena, like the supportive person she is, tells me over and over again that everything happens for a reason and that things always find a way to work themselves out.

"You and Jude can sleep down here," says Lena. "Pretend like it's a sleepover, okay? Just don't do anything you wouldn't do if you were up stairs and the door was open."

My eyes wander over to Jude, who is now a dark shade of pink. He's so cute when he's embarrassed.

Stef and Lena retreat up stairs, leaving Jude and I alone.

"Before we talk about any of this, just let me do one thing, okay?"

I lean into Jude and melt into our second kiss of the night. This time I don't rush anything, but I also don't hold back. I do everything from biting the bottom of his lips to leaving tender kisses across his neck. His hands ruffle my hair and I can't help but curl my lips into a smile.

We pull away, but for some reason, he still looks slightly upset and distant.

"What's wrong?" I ask him. "Are you mad at me?"

"I could never be mad at you," he says back. "All I want to know is why you ran away. Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you just come here?"

"I'm sorry Jude. I was afraid that if I came here, and my father found me staying at your house, he would take all his anger out on both of us. I don't want to put you at risk of getting hurt. I didn't want to put you though anymore pain then you already felt."

"You could of at least called..." he whispers out to me. "When your dad came looking for you, telling me you had run away, I was so worried. I didn't know what to do with myself."

"I was in a bad place. I ran away to this little diner not too far from here. I just so happened to run into Callie. She convinced me to come stay here instead of running away."

"Callie convinced you to stay? She did all of that?"

Jude looks dumbfounded and confused. He gets a look on his face, as if he's trying to work this all out like a math problem.

"When you and Callie were at the diner, what did you talk about?"

"We talked about a lot of things, but mostly about you. I couldn't stop thinking about you the whole time I was with her."

"Really?" Jude squeaks out.

"Really," I respond while taking his hand into mine. "There's something I've always wanted to tell you."

"Go ahead," he declares.

"Callie asked me how I knew you were so good at hiding your feelings, and I said it was because you acted so normal around me. I always had a little crush on you but I thought you would never like me back. When I found out you were gay I couldn't help but smile. It gave me hope that maybe we could become more than friends."

Jude blushes, like I knew he would, and is at a complete lost for words. He attempts a few sentences but none of them come out right.

"You're so cute when you're nervous," I state while giving him a quick kiss.

He kisses me back, but when I pull away, he just stops and stares. The same look is plastered across his face, the one where it looks like he's trying to figure out a hard math problem.

"Connor?" he calls out to me nervously after a few seconds.

"What is it, Jude?"

"I have something I need to say," he announces. "You've been my best friend for over six months now. I can trust you with anything; my secrets, my past, and even my heart. You mean so much to me. When you kiss me, I feel like just for a second that everything's perfect. Whenever you're around my hands become sweaty. You're all I can think about before I go to sleep. What I'm trying to say is... I love you, Connor."

He waits for me to say something, staring deep into my eyes. I don't leave him waiting for long.

"I love you too, Jude," I repeat to him.

We stare at each for a few seconds before leaning in, becoming lustful and intoxicated by each other. My lips move around from his lips, to his jawline, all the way down to his lower neck, and back to his lips once again.

I don't need to tell you what happened next. I'll leave that part up to your imagination. Let's just say when we woke up the next morning, our lips were sore, we broke Lena's leave the door open rule, and Jude had a hickey he would have to ask Mariana to cover up.

I'm happy I at least got to have one last night of fun. Since I'm going to file my police report today, I don't think things will be easy for me anytime soon.

At least I have my amazing boyfriend to guide me through everything. And in case you haven't heard yet, he loves me.

**End of another chapter! Sorry it took me so long to update! Well, it was only about a day or so, but that's a lot for my standards! Do you guys think Connor will be able to file the police report and relive what happened to him? Will he ever open up to Jude about his cutting?**

**New chapter coming sometime tomorrow, who saw the Fosters today! Poor Connor, Jude couldn't even look at him! But did you see how Connor couldn't keep his eyes off him!? I was squealing the whole time! #JonnorSparks And why isn't Jude talking? I think it may have something to do with Sophia, possibly Connor, or maybe both. Most likely Sophia. Until next time, remember to review, follow, or whatever you want! See you guys soon!**

**~The OG Judicorn **


	13. The Art of Being Afraid

**Jude's POV:**

I wake up early the next morning with Connor already up and a shooting pain coming from my neck. As I walk into the down stairs bathroom and close the door behind me, I examine my neck closely. The source of all my pain in non other than the hickey Connor had given me the night before. I laugh it off as I exit the bathroom and walk into the kitchen.

"Good morning sunshine," he chuckles out. "Glad to see you're finally awake."

He grabs two spoons from my freezer and hands one to me.

"What are these for?" I question him.

Connor presses his spoon against his hickey, instructing me to do the same thing with my spoon.

"I put these in the freezer last night," he explains. "You know, so we could be prepared the next morning."

"Yeah," I counter to him. "I'm still going to ask Mariana to conceal mine though. Stef and Lena should be down soon, they'll make us breakfast."

We spend most of our morning getting ready for school. I cut my shower down to ten minutes, making sure Connor has enough time to take one himself before the morning rush invades the bathroom. We both finish and head down stairs, collecting our things that we'll need for the school day.

Since Connor didn't bring his backpack, I give him one of Jesus' that he doesn't use anymore, and also give him the basics. By basics I mean pencils, paper, a notebook, etc.

We sit back on the couch, watching a re-run episode of "Drake and Josh," but I can't concentrate on the episode. Not one bit. There's this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me feel like I'm going to be sick.

I anxiously wait for Callie to come down stairs so I can run up to Mariana and ask her to hide my love bite. It's embarrassing enough knowing that it's there, I don't want the whole world to know!

Callie eventually comes down stairs (finally) and Connor and I rush upstairs before anyone can realize we're gone. I knock on Mariana's door quietly before allowing myself in, locking it once we enter, just in case someone decides to walk in.

"Judicorn!" she cries out when she sees me. "What brings you and your boyfriend here to my humble manor so early?"

I blush before revealing my hickey, which has been hidden under my shirt all morning.

"Can you cover this up?" I ask frantically. "If Callie, or moms, or anyone else in the family sees it they'll never let it go!"

Mariana laughs before saying, "I'm never going to let it go! Come over here!"

She sits me down on her bed and tells me to stay still. I can't help but laugh as she makes the brush roll across my skin.

"That tickles!" I finally let out.

"Well, that's the price you pay for getting so hot and heavy with Connor!"

Connor looks at me with wide eyes. Clearly, he's just as embarrassed as I am.

"Okay Jude, you're all done! Connor's turn!"

Mariana doesn't take long to conceal Connor's hickey, but it feels like an eternity. Maybe the idea of getting caught is finally getting to me. It's not like we did anything wrong... Just a little bit of kissing, maybe some touching, but nothing too crazy.

"Wow, the lips on that one! Look at the size of that hickey!"

I laugh and Connor can't help but crack a smile.

"And... You're... Done! Now get down stairs you two, before moms get suspicious!"

"Thanks Mariana!" I shout to her while rushing out with Connor.

Down stairs everyone is in their normal morning rush. Stef and Lena hurry to make breakfast, the kids scramble around to find their backpacks, and people are nearly tripping over each other. Hmm, good thing Connor and I woke up so early.

"Let's go kids!" Lena announces after we all finish breakfast. "We're going to be late!"

Everyone says good bye to Stef and wishes her a good day at work as we head out the door. Connor and I sit next to each other in the back seats with Mariana. She can't help but awe when Connor holds my hand for comfort.

"So cute!" she yells out while drawing everybody's attention.

Lena's eyes look into her mirror and back to us. The rest of my siblings whip their heads around, even Callie. I can't help but feel like they're just trying to embarrass me. If that was their mission, then it has been accomplished.

The school day was pretty uneventful for the most part. Connor and I ate lunch together, like we always do, and spent almost all of science class staring at each other. When Connor got caught turning around too much, he made up the lame excuse that he kept hearing someone call his name. Even though that was the stupidest excuse I've ever heard, the teacher seemed to buy it.

It was after school when all the drama started to unravel.

Connor and I walked home together with Callie, Brandon, and Wyatt. Jesus, like always, can't join us because he has wrestling practice today. Mariana has dance team practice today for two hours.

I don't know why, but I feel like there's tension between her and Jesus. Something she's not telling me. Whatever, I can bug her about it later. Right now Connor needs all of my attention.

When we arrive home Callie and Wyatt take over the living room while Brandon runs up to his bedroom to call Lou for band practice. Connor and I sit down in the kitchen and begin to talk. We have no boundaries, our conversations can go anywhere.

Halfway into my story about the time my pants caught on fire, he gets an unnerving expression on his face. At first he tries to shake it off, but I can tell something's on his mind.

"Is something wrong?" I ask him casually.

He shakes his head no which causes me to become slightly annoyed.

I look him in the eyes before saying, "I thought you didn't want to play any games?"

"I'm sorry," he chokes out. "It's just, I've been hiding a secret from you."

My smile soon falls. After everything we've been through, I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other anymore. I thought our relationship was stronger than that.

I think about getting up and leaving, storming away only for him to follow me, but then I remember this is my house. I can't just run away from him this time.

"I thought we didn't have secrets anymore," I cry out like a wounded animal.

"Jude, it's not like that. Not even a little bit. I only started doing this three days ago! I've been waiting for the right time to tell you."

"What have you been doing, for three days, behind my back?"

Connor looks at me sadly, nothing but pain illuminating from those gorgeous hazel eyes. He lifts up his shirt, revealing more than ten long cuts across his stomach. At first I'm disgusted, but I can't keep my eyes off of it. The cuts are so... Deep.

"Why?" I finally manage to whisper out. "Why would you cut yourself?"

He sighs while putting his shirt back down. "Because I was scared," he replies with his breath shaky and broken. "I was sad and I didn't want to drop all of my problems on you. I felt like I was too much for you to deal with."

"You're never to much for me to deal with," I respond. "I love you."

"I love too," he replies. "I know that now. I guess the reason I did it was because of my dad and the way he made me feel. My dad made me feel like I was alone, and the worst part was that I eventually started believing him. But now I can see that I'm not alone. I have you."

"And you always _will _have me. Now talk to me. I need you to promise me you'll stop cutting yourself."

"I promise you I'll stop cutting myself. It's a dangerous problem and I need to stop."

"That's a good start," I say. "Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery."

Connor nods his head slowly. I'm about to ask him what he uses to cut himself, and request that he hands it over to me, but I'm set back when we heat the door open. Stef walks in and calls out for us. We yell, "Here! We're in the kitchen!"

Stef walks into the kitchen and informs us that it's time for Connor to go and file his police report. He's hesitant at first, but calms down when she tells him I can come. It's nice to know I make him feel safe.

We say good bye to Callie and Wyatt as we leave the house. Callie gives me a smile, but it's different. She looks genuinely happy for me. It's a genuine smile. I guess Connor must of really turned her around.

**Callie's POV:**

Wyatt wraps his arm around me while asking, "What's got you so happy?"

"Jude," I reply brightly. "He looks so happy with Connor. I can't believe I didn't see it before."

"What made you open your eyes?"

"Connor did, actually. Ever since our talk at the diner yesterday I've been looking at things in a different way."

"And it doesn't bother you, like, at all? About Jude finding out that he's gay?"

I hesitate for a second. My nails dig into my skin and I bite the inside of my cheek.

"I'm only worried about how the bullies will treat him. Jude's not one to stand up for himself."

"But he also shouldn't be afraid of who he is," Wyatt retaliates.

"I know, I know! All I want is for my little brother to be safe. He's always been a target for bullies, I don't want them to have another reason to attack him."

"I get that. Close minded people don't understand things like this. And if they ever say anything to Jude, then they should feel ashamed, not him."

"Yeah," I say underneath my breath. "That's one thing you're right about."

**End of another chapter! Okay, I love you guys, but you really thought I meant to say they had sex? Cuz that's not what I meant at all, you dirty minded people x'D They were sleeping on a couch, do you know how uncomfortable that would have been? And with all those people up stairs and the fact that they're only 13? It's okay, I guess it's my fault for not being too settle cx**

**Also, thanks for over 200 reviews! Keep it coming! I love you guys so much! Chapter to be posted later tonight or possibly really early in the morning. Today is my day, new Pretty Little Lairs and Degrassi tonight! Make sure to watch!**

**~The OG Judicorn **


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